Best and Worst

Lists are always reliable sources of controversy and blogging, since everyone can have an opinion on the content of the list, the order of the list, whatever.

So, in the spirit of needing something to write about that doesn't devolve into complaints about work . . . I present to you two lists.

A while back Premiere website put together a list of the best movie poster images. You can go here to read their opinions on the pictures, or you can see the images here and read my own interpretations.

(I mean, who are you gonna trust?)


What can you say about #25, Gun Crazy? I don't really know, but I surely wouldn't mess with this gun totin' dame. If the gun didn't kill me, she'd strangle me with her insanely tight skirt, puncture my eyes with her torpedo bra, or crack my skull open with her big heeled shoes.


I like to eat Girl Scout "All Abouts" cookies, so I guess I can't say anything too negative about this poster for All About Eve. But I don't see why this image is all that special. I think Premiere is trying to educate us a bit more than necessary. This choice can't be all about pure image quality.


This poster for The Hitch-Hiker is undeniably dramatic. The red, the gun-carrier's POV. But, again, it's for a movie I've never heard of. So, it must be suspect.


Number 22, The Seven Year Itch is definitely iconographic. And so, that makes it noteworthy, certainly listworthy. But, other than almost seeing Marilyn's naughty bits, there's not much going on here is there? I do like the multi-colored title jumping off of the black background.


Yes! There is an image that is definitely interesting and thought provoking. Rosemary's Baby is a spooky movie (so I've been told) and I think the set up of this one is very effective.


Yellow Submarine comes in at #20. Here is a good example of the art of the time coming through in the movie and the movie poster. And talk about multi-colored.


Here is another movie that I've never seen, but I am familiar with Veronica Lake and there is no denying the fact that this poster captures her look with creativity and dramatic strokes. But, it doesn't say much about the movie . . . but I guess the idea is that you are going to the movie to see Veronica Lake, no matter the subject matter. (Kind of like Bruce Willis and the "Die Hard" movies!)


This poster for Breakfast at Tiffany's is certainly dramatic and eye-catching. Hepburn's exaggerated figure really makes you pay attention to her and then her glance to the right (and the extremely long cigarette holder point you to the smaller couple on the right. Nicely done.


Veronica Lake must have been big stuff back in the day, huh? (And I'm talking Will Smith big, since her presence in a movie apparently demanded that her big ole head and wave of hair must dominate any movie poster that she is in. But, does she play a dame with gams that just wouldn't quit?


I was introduced to this movie poster image when my sister was reading the book after the movie came out. While I certainly know that the images in this poster are quite relevant to the plot of a good (Oscar winning!) movie, I have always wanted to see someone else's take on this one . . . but NO Hannibal Lecter, please! There are so many interesting images in Silence of the Lambs, I just can't help but think something better might have been done.


Another example of Premiere trying to make us smarter rather than picking truly special movie art.


At #14, we've got The Man with the Golden Arm, a movie showing Frank Sinatra struggling with drug addiction. I like the cut paper style of this poster. It makes me think of Henri Matisse, who started making large paper collages in the late 1940s.


This looks more like a paperback book cover. But it's Chaplin and The Little Tramp, so I'm bound not to criticize.


Straw Dogs, #12 on the list is a good image. It does a good job of hinting at the plot, a man pushed to the limit by a series of unfortunate events that happened to him and his family. I remember watching this movie in college and I liked it okay. The picture doesn't really look like Dustin Hoffman, though.


I'm not a King Kong fan, either of this version or of the more recent Peter Jackson movie. So, I'm not really a fan of this poster either. It just looks juvenile.


Ahh, yes. 2001: A Space Odyssey. I first saw this movie at my neighbor's house. Either we didn't have a VCR yet, our VCR was broken, or I don't remember what I was doing there, but this movie WAS a trip, to be sure. This poster sort of conveys the plot--such as it was, right? But it also gets into the zeitgeist of the 1060s also. I wouldn't call 2001 "groovy," but someone probably got high while watching it and proclaimed it to be "a gas."


The only thing The Thief of Baghdad successfully stole was the #9 spot on this list from some other, more deserving movie.


Can't complain about #8--Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. An awesome image for an awesomely bad movie . . . or so I surmise, never having had the pleasure of inviting the 50 ft. Woman into my home. My personal memory of this movie has to do with it being a birthday gift to Paul Buchman, from Paul Buchman on an episode of Mad About You. The poster is about 50 ft. tall in that episode and Jamie (Helen Hunt) isn't too jazzed about it.


We're sticking with numbers, as #7 is 42nd Street. It is an arresting image, all legs and leather. Plus that angle!


Rita Hayworth as Gilda reminds me of the Veronica Lake images we saw earlier (waterfalls of hair and all that) plus the Audrey Hepburn image for "Breakfast at Tiffany's." (Cigarettes and such.)

That's all I've got to say about that.


Amazing? My own personal jury is out on that, but I have always found it odd that the sinister robot in Forbidden Planet reappeared (at least in form if not in personality programming) as the milquetoast Robot in "Lost in Space."


I actually like #4's imagery for Downhill Racer. The contours of the noses, lips, and chins suggest a mountainside for the minuscule skier (Robert Redford, is that you?) to slip on down.


Vertigo is a pretty successful image for the movie it represents. Successful for #3, I guess. The font style and the cut-out style remind me of "The Man With The Golden Arm."


It's pretty inexcusable that the #2 movie on this list is obviously a result of T & A preferences. I've never heard of The Sin of Nora Moran; I'll never watch it; but it's supposed to be represented by the second best movie poster of all time?

Well, #1 had better be awesome, right?


Sigh.

Color me underwhelmed.

It's okay, I suppose and it gives me the Matisse vibe yet again, but I just don't think it should be #1.

*****

So, those were supposed to be the best movie posters of all time. But my post title promised the worst also, right? Well, maybe not worst, but I can give you "Strangest." And, as with the Premiere list, these are some else's opinions.

There isn't as much commentary to go with these, mostly because I'm tired. But I will provide you the link here. (I'll also provide the warning that some inappropriate language appears in the beginning. Just be forewarned, and avoid the text if you want. Seriously! After reading the whole three pages, I am warning you.)

I'll give you a visual taste, here, but then I'm done with this post.

Suicide Food IS a Laughing Matter

I know that suicide isn't funny and I'm not here to celebrate it.

But, I am here to point you towards a very funny website that psychoanalyzes the animal mascots of restaurants around the country, animals that are happy--maybe TOO happy--to serve themselves up for your dinerly satisfaction.

So, in the satirical tradition of James Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Foods, I offer you Suicide Foods.

It might not be for the tender-minded or for children. Be warned.

But, you might not want to learn about fictional foods.

You might want to know about the horrible reality of actual food that people eat all the time.

This link will get you there, but you'll be sorry once you arrive. The reality of fast food as compared to the commercial imagery is shocking and definitely NOT for the faint of heart.

(Some of the language here is a bit off-color, so if you don't want to confront that, then don't read the words, just scan the pictures and promise yourself that you'll never eat there again.)

*****

(Thanks to Adfreak for the links.)

An ode to Perk

Doing this might cause ill feelings, because if you do it for one person, you should do it for everyone, right?

You are likely correct, but nothing feels right these days and I can't claim to be consistent in my work, home, thoughts, actions, or anything these days. The work keeps mounting, the time grows shorter, my patience and stamina flag . . . but you've heard all of this before.

I come here to praise Perk, not bury him . . . or something like that.

While I know he wasn't the first person that I met when we moved to Ohio, he was definitely the only one of that early group of people that I have maintained contact and interaction with since 1998. We were both entering graduate school at OSU--he in the Master program; I in the Ph.D. His was ancient history; mine was 20th century business. He from Kentucky, by way of BYU; I from Georgia, by way of Georgia Southern. We were assigned to the same grad school office in Dulles Hall and we got down to the business of being grad students--taking classes, assisting professors, grading essays, holding "office hours," sitting around and shooting the breeze during time off.

Turns out he was a Tolkien fan and a Star Wars nut (he even had a LARGE collection of action figures and ships in his house). (And, truth be told, he was mostly responsible for getting me into J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter. Many's the twenty minutes Perk and I have debated book theories and criticized the discrepancies between the books and movies.)

So, we got along pretty well. Not only were both of us attending OSU, but our wives were both working at the same place--that very same place that Perk and I eventually came to work at as well. So, there were many commonalities between us.

Let's see, are there any good stories I can tell? My memory being not so reliable, I'm sure that I'll forget some, but the best one occurred when Star War: The Phantom Menace came out. Perk and I both wanted to see it badly, so Lynda and I drove over to their place on a Wednesday night (this was before Perk or I had any kids) and we walked to the theater over by campus. We were both disappointed by what the movie really was . . . though Perk tried harder to defend it than I did. But there were two big news events that night that were only slightly related to the content of the movie.

First, while we were waiting for the movie to begin--in a big line, we heard rumors that George Takei (Sulu of Star Trek fame) was at the bookstore around the corner, trying (I think) to steal some thunder from George Lucas' (then still strong) mojo. Perk wanted badly to go and see Takei, but the rest of us didn't want to lose our place in line. So, we got in the theater and sat down. With just a few minutes to spare before the lights dimmed, it became apparent that Sulu was in the theater with us. After some hemming and hawing, Perk decided to go up to him and talk. (I stayed firmly in my seat.) I don't know if Perk got a chance to actually say anything to Takei, but he did speak to his bodyguard sitting beside him.

Then the movie cranked up and we were all introduced to Jar Jar Binks and Jake Lloyd. I didn't hear Takei laughing out loud, but maybe he fell asleep during the opening crawl about trade regulations and space embargoes.

ANYWAY, once the movie was over, I had to go to the bathroom and who should I pass going out just as I was going in? George Takei himself! We didn't acknowledge one another (not that he would) as men shouldn't when in a bathroom, but that's as close as I got.

Later that night, Lynda and I drove home, I went to bed and when I woke up the next day to go teach my class, I discovered that my car had been stolen from the apartment parking lot.

These are some of the things I think of when I think of you, Perk.

God speed in your travels back to Utah. Have a good time at your new job.

We'll miss you around here.

Strange Things to Think About at Work

1. When you work on the top floor of a building, you only get one option when you are selecting an elevator--up button when you arrive in the morning and down button when you leave at night. That's why it was mildly jarring earlier when I elected to ride the elevator from the second floor and saw that there were TWO buttons for me to choose from.

2. Sometimes, walking between cubicle rows, you get to a hard right (or left) turn. Our building has decided to put curved mirrors or half domes in these areas to give the pedestrian office worker information about what/who is coming around the blind corner. But, due to the nature of these curved mirrors, you see what you are heading towards rather than where you have come from.

In these instances, I pretend that I am a vampire that casts no reflection.

"Australia" by The Shins

This is my first favorite song from The Shins new album Wincing the Night Away. But as I watched the video that you may enjoy below, a few things kept nagging at me.

1. I don't know if he's the lead singer (and I don't want to know and probably don't want to remember his name or all semblance of indie cred will be gone), but the Lead Shin with the binoculars kept reminding me of Kevin Spacey, kind of like he's Kevin Spacey's less famous brother.

2. When the Heavyset Shin (wearing the bush outfit) was running back into the van, I couldn't prevent the image of Captain Caveman from leaping into my brain.

3. Why do Indie Bands insist on wearing clothes that are thirty years out of date? I guess I'm equally "out of date."

4. Were you, like me, expecting the balloons to form into some recognizable shape when they were floating away . . . and were you also thinking about this impressive technicolor stunt with bouncy balls?