CW Fall TV Preview

We are carrying on with the 2008 Fall TV preview posts here on WWYG?! Last night I wrote about NBC. Tonight, I am swinging over to the CW, but I'll admit that I should have done this network first, because it is going all out this year and committing itself to quality programming in ways that you just wouldn't believe!

Case in point . . . 90210! It's 2 hour premiere is going on right now as I type . . . but by the time you read this, it'll all be over and you will curse yourself for missing the chance of a lifetime to see a show as great as that in it's Second Coming. Plus, have you heard? Shannon Daugherty is TOTALLY coming back for a few episodes! And OMG! she and Jennie Garth are getting along just great and isn't that awesome!

So, yeah . . . 90210 is back. I didn't care about it the first time around and so I care even less about this incarnation. It doesn't really matter to me how pretty all the actors are--and I have seen that they are very, very pretty. It just seems like this might have been a bigger deal if we hadn't already seen The OC come and go and weren't currently living through Gossip Girl.

But, let's break things down by day, shall we?

Monday: Speaking of Gossip Girl, [9/1 @ 8 pm] it's back on again for the Fall and premiered last night. I haven't watched the show, though some people have tried to tell me that I would like it. I am not entirely sure why that would be the case. I know that originally I think the plot involved a rich kid anonymously blogging about her equally rich friends to much scandal, but I wouldn't doubt that that plot thread faded away and now I suspect it more resembles MTV's The Hills or some other show about rich people (did I mention that 90210 is also on this network?). I'm sure it's a well put-together show and I do like one of the stars (Blake Lively) a bit, but I don't think I'll be tuning in. Sorry.

As to what else is on The CW on Mondays . . . it's One Tree Hill [9/1 @ 9 pm]. This show used to be about basketball, right? I have never watched even one minute of the show over its . . . how many years? . . . two, three . . . ahh, who cares. It's probably just another excuse for pretty Caucasians to sit around and scheme about how they are going to steal each other's significant others.

Tuesday: This is, as I mentioned at the top, the night for 90210 [9/2 @ 8 pm]. But how good can the show be if it has slipped from 3rd rate, maybe 4th rate network FOX (home of the original show) to the even more tenuous CW network? Nothing on the CW inspires much confidence, so I can't say I'll hold high hopes for this show, no matter how many alumnus they drag out of renewed obscurity to pump up the ratings. I am sure Ian Ziering has got nothing better to do, but Jason Priestly and even--god help us all--Luke Perry can probably find more appealing ways to spend their middle-ages now, right?

And let's now forget the "reason for being" of the CW network! Showcasing the lives of the rich, powerful, and vapid. This is reinforced by the OTHER show the network trots out on Tuesday, appropriately titled Privileged [9/9 @ 9 pm]. What is this show about? Well, imagine an earnest, well-meaning young college journalist major that is "taking her lumps" working at a tabloid. She loses her job and manages to swing her way into being the live-in tutor for snooty high schoolers who live in Palm Beach. Can the earnest journalist remain true to herself while trying to enrich the lives of the vapid and also not be seduced by the hot boys and easy living lifestyle of the too rich and not famous? Tune in next Tuesday night to find out!

Wednesday: Midweek on The CW means America's Next Top Model [9/3 @ 8 pm; a 2-hr premiere]. For this, the eleventh cycle of the show, Tyra and Company take a group of homely girls under their wing and get them to realize that beauty isn't important. Instead, the ANTM crew heads into the mean streets of Chicago to volunteer in soup kitchens, pick up trash, and scrap the gum from under the audience chairs at Tyra's talk show.

(Did you believe any of that?)

In actual fact, the latest group of model hopefuls might indeed do the things I mentioned, but only if that was the inane subject of the latest photo set up . . . and preferable if these things could be mimicked while being dangled fifteen feet up in the air.

The other Wednesday night show, Stylista [10/22 @ 9 pm] is a reality show about people competing to get an internship at Elle Magazine. So, if you've seen the movie The Devil Wears Prada, but what you REALLY wanted to see was the video tapes of the casting director for that movie, then this show is right up your alley.

Thursday: If it's Thursday and its the CW, then it must be Smallville [9/18 @ 8 pm]. Yep, the show that no one can believe is still on the air is back on the air again! Clark still doesn't fly; he refuses to see that Chloe is the only person in town worthy of his romantic attention; Lex is marching ever closer to Ultimate Evil; Lois is still annoying as ever, and Lana is dead? I don't even remember what is up with her. I just know that I want it over with. I have invested years of my life in this show and its a habit that I just can't break at this point. I must see it to it's conclusion . . . it's grim, joyless, unfulfilling conclusion.

Supernatural [9/18 @ 9 pm] is also back for another year. Once more I'll say that you would expect me to like a show about demon hunters, vampires, various occult stuff that could (if done better with a more interesting cast of characters) remind me more of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. But this show doesn't rise to that level of quality, so I don't bother. I'm sure there is a rabid fan base for the show that just got reenergized at Comic Con, but I'll eat my Smallville gruel and move on.

Friday: Friday Night Smackdown. Ugh.

Saturday: local programming

Sunday: Encores of shows done earlier in the week. Pretty pathetic. Except that on 9/21 all hell breaks loose with three new shows--In Harm's Way [9/21 @ 7 pm], Valentine [9/21 @ 8 pm], and Easy Money [9/21 @ 9 pm]. One show is about Greek gods trying to keep their identity secret while matching people up. Another is about ordinary people doing treacherous stuff for a living. And the third is about a family of loan sharks and the one upright son that wants to run the family biz legit. I'll let you sort out which description fits which show. And you also have to guess which show features the always delightful Judge Rheinhold!

So, 90210 . . . this is your network. It can barely put together four weekdays of prime time programming. And you are going to be its salvation? I say good luck to you. And I'll also say that there are several shows listed on the CW website as Coming Soon--all in early October it appears. These shows will not be dealt with in great detail, because they are desperate back ups for equally desperate cannon fodder going out now. But I do note with interest the presence of Bob Saget in one show, Surviving Suburbia [midseason arrival date unknown], because it sounds like he is mimicking the Kevin Spacey role in American Beauty. And we all now know what a horn dog smut head Saget really is, so maybe this is playing more to type?

Another night down, another network excoriated. Tomorrow . . . maybe FOX?

NBC Fall TV Preview

Labor Day has come and gone, the first football games have been played, and there are leaves piling up in my yard (due to drought, but still). That means only one thing--Fall is almost here and that also means one other thing . . . I've got to get to work writing this year's Fall TV Preview posts.

If there is anything constant about my blog (and, no, there isn't much) it is that I have spent some time during this part of the calendar year previewing the upcoming slate of television shows on the networks. It has gotten a bit more complicated over the last few years as the networks have sort of added a summer season, while also mercilessly cutting and destroying poor performing shows. And, of course, I don't spend time talking about cable series and premium channel shows that I am not a subscriber of. So, the utility of this exercise becomes less and less relevant each year, but it means something to me, as when I was younger, I greatly anticipated the arrival of the Fall TV issue of TV Guide. (Yes, I really did.) I loved reading about the new shows, seeing the actors, and trying to gauge which episodes I thought might be interesting to watch and trying to see if I could fit any of the good ones into my schedule.

So, here we go again. For no reason at all, I'm starting with NBC.

While perusing the network website, I am struck by the small amount of new shows upcoming for the Fall. I count only FIVE new shows, if you can believe it. Either than means NBC has truly given up any belief in its ability to create new scripted programming that America wants to watch--a thought process I am not willing to entirely discount--or they are sticking with the shows that, while huge ratings successes in recent years, are at least pleasing to the critics and SOME of the viewing public.

Monday: Chuck [9/29 @ 8 pm] (a show that I said I liked last year and did watch some, but not enough) remains on Monday night's at 8 pm. Chuck's first season was quirky and hit my sweet spot of being nerdy and about spies. So, let's hope the show keeps things going for season two. Heroes [9/22 @ 9 pm] is also back again on Monday. I've read that the creators and writers learned from the poor plotting and delays that screwed up a very poorly received season 2. Season 3, they claim, is going to be more action-packed and more engaging. I just hope it keeps people interested. The mystery isn't nearly as compelling and knotty as LOST, which has used its intrigue and better quality writing to keep going over rough patches. Heroes doesn't have the same loyalty from me or from most people, I'm guessing. So, they need to step up quickly. The other new show on Monday's is one of the few that I am intrigued by. Unfortunately, My Own Worst Enemy doesn't hit the network until next month [10/13 @ 10 pm]. But I'm a fan of high concept (schizophrenic family man that might be a spy in a different life--again with the spy fetish, David?) and Christian Slater is the main character. So, I'll give it a try. It's probably this year's Bionic Woman, but I hope it might be engaging.

Tuesday: Well, NBC doesn't seem to have much going on. Most of the night is filled with another Biggest Loser spinoff (this one focusing on families losing weight together, it seems). I'm all for weight loss, but I don't think I'll be losing much weight by sitting down in front of the TV watching other people do it. And NBC doesn't inspire much confidence the rest of Tuesday night by ending the primetime hours with Law & Order: SVU. I've never been and L & O fan, so it looks like Tuesday night is another network's night in this house.

Wednesday: NBC won't be drawing me in too hard on that night either. The night begins with one of the few new shows of the season, but I've already experienced it (more than once!). You see, it is the ill-conceived reboot of the Knight Rider series that I was a fan of back when I was a kid. I was an unabashed fan of David Hasselhoff and KITT (vers. 1.0), but this new "updated" show probably seemed like a good idea in the executives offices of NBC when they were discussing how much critics liked "Battlestar Galactica." But, BSG is gritty, pseudo-political and just awesome. Knight Rider [9/24 @ 8pm] just doesn't work. I gamely tried the "movie version" of the pilot back in the spring, but I don't think I'll be taking KITT back out for another spin. Following that, you've got Deal or No Deal. (I say No Deal.) And after that is Lipstick Jungle. [9/24 @ 10 pm] You might not be aware that that show was on last season . . . at least I think it was. I distinctly remember typing the title Lipstick Jungle during last year's NBC preview . . . hold it, let's check . . . hmm. I can't seem to find it in last year's writeups. That probably means that it was a mid-season replacement just waiting in the wings. I do know the Brooke Shields is in it, but that's mostly because Brooke was a celebrity judge on Project Runway recently.

Thursday: Moving on, we can see on Thursday, the bulk of NBC's plans and the only place they have really strong shows (other than Chuck on Monday . . . but that's mostly my opinion, I guess.) The night kicks off with My Name is Earl [9/25 @ 8pm] and then moves on to another of the new shows, Kath & Kim, [10/9 @ 8 pm] a show with a flashy website. Usually, that means the network is engaged in the success of the show. It also helps that the show features SNL alumnus Molly Shannon. But it doesn't bode well to me that the show is an Americanization of an Australian original show of the same name. (I know, I know that The Office has done well in this regard, but doesn't anyone besides me remember the disaster that was Coupling?) The 9 o'clock block on Thursday is filled with the reliable and funny duo of The Office [9/25 @ 9 pm] and 30 Rock [10/30 @ 9:30 pm]. These are the shows you can guarantee will be talked about the next day around the office water cooler (do those still exist anywhere? my office has a water dispenser that comes pre-chilled . . . anyway). So, even though you have to wait until Halloween for 30 Rock (and have to fill that time with SNL Weekend Update Thursdays) I recommend you spend time with those shows. I don't even know yet what it's Thursday night competition is, but that's why we DVR stuff, right? And then there is ER [9/25 @ 10 pm]--in it's kajillionth and final season. What can I say? I stopped watching in the Clinton administration but it's still going strong. I guess the legislation on euthanization finally came through? But in a final season, keep an eye out for stunt casting, dramatic returns of old cast mates--those not ridiculously killed by falling helicopters or now far too famous to bother.

Friday: NBC is bringing back Life [9/29 @ 10 pm--a special Monday repremiere before consigning it to death on it's regular Friday slot] from last season and either rerunning Tuesday's episode of Deal or No Deal (I surely hope not) or they are just running another one (not a good option either, when you think about it). The only new thing on Friday night doesn't look very promising on the face of it--Crusoe. [10/17 @ 8 pm] Yes, THAT Crusoe. Supposedly, the show will "brave the elements (??) in a contemporary tale of love, friendship, and self-discovery." I know that some people love costume shows, but I don't think I'll be staying home on my birthday to watch that premiere.

Weekend:Well, it's what you expect. Friday is either Dateline or reruns of what you decided not to watch on the previous weeknight (Knight Rider or Law & Order: SVU) or football, football, football on Sunday.

Not very inspiring, huh? Well, there's not much I can do about it being far from the power center of television and decision making in California. I can only vote by neglect (for the most part) and try my best to give my ratings to the few shows on NBC that seem to be creative and fun to watch.

Things you need to know about my life

1. If you have been upstairs getting children to bed--i.e. overseeing their lavatory skills (bath, pajamas, hair brushing, tooth brushing), and then you move onto  the bedtime reading portion of the night time ritual, it will not matter how long you read or how tired your children might become. You might read for ten minutes or you might push on through for twenty minutes, thereby making your throat soar. You might prepare ahead of time, get yourself a small glass of water from the bathroom, using one of those paper Dixie cups (or if you are economical, a generic Kroger brand Bathroom Cup). You might periodically sip this water while reading, allowing yourself the chance to go thirty or even forty minutes into the reading of several small library books and possibly a good third of a chapter from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince . . . you might do all of this, but within three minutes of you telling your children to go to their beds and taking yourself downstairs,  you will hear the footfalls of one child (it doesn't matter which) coming down the stairs for some cockamamie reason or another--sharpening a pencil, too hot, too cold, I'm afraid, whatever.

Set your watch and just see if I'm right.

2. The amount of time that it takes a child to find a printable activity on the Internet, print said activity, read instructions, cut, fold, tape, and construct said activity is in direct opposition to the amount of time a child actually plays with this fully formed activity afterward the building phase is completed. 

Oddly, however, the amount of time it took to construct the item in question is about equal to the amount of time the unplayed with activity will sit forlorn on the end table afterwards . . . multiplied by 25.

3. An unassuming piece of paper sitting in a pile of unread mail, various drawings, and credit card applications becomes increasingly vital the further down the pile said piece of paper goes. If this paper reaches the bottom of the pile (especially if this steady downward progress has taken a  week or more) this previously unassuming and unwanted piece of paper becomes the MOST important item in the house and following this existential transformation, two further things are absolutely certain to occur: 

a.) I will throw this piece of paper away--oblivious to its radically enhanced status and 

b.) Lynda will (within 24 hours) ask "Where is that piece of paper? It had some REALLY important yada yada yada on it that I need RIGHT now."

Please note that I am trying not to blame Lynda for this. All of God's creatures have a role to play in this universe. I am not in a position to tell her how to live the life she had been predestined for.

5. The quicker I have to get out the rest of the family out of the door and go somewhere else, the longer my children will stare in the mirror at nothing in particular.

5 a. If the children are currently unclothed, the amount of time spent staring in the mirror increases by a factor of 2.

5 b. If the children are upset or crying, the amount of time spent staring in the mirror increases by an approximate factor of 15. (They love seeing their wretched faces when they are unhappy!)

6. I try to be as efficient as I can possibly manage. For example, I was getting some laundry started on Thursday night when we got home from work. I sorted through the piles of stuff sitting on the basement floor that had been tossed down the laundry chute over the past week. Colors, whites, towels, gentle cycle are my four categories. Once the sorting is finished I assess which pile is the largest, which contains clothing items that are the likeliest to be needed first, and then choose a load to begin. On this particular night I chose Colors. (I was to discover the next morning that I had made a mistake in this . . . but I'll  try to get back to that later.)

The efficiency part is this: I started the washing machine and let a quantity of water build in the basin while pouring the liquid soap in. Once an always varying amount of soapy water had accumulated in the bottom of the rotating drum, I dumped in the Colored clothes. As I closed the machine lid and prepared to return upstairs, I realized that I was wearing black slacks that could use a washing. Determined to achieve some level of success, I promptly took off my slacks and dropped them in the agitating machine. Success! Efficiencies achieved! (Sure, I looked a bit of a dope as I climbed the stairs to the main level in my polo shirt, boxers, black socks, and black shoes. Sure, Lynda noticed, but I was on the way up to the second floor to change into shorts anyway. A small bit of humiliation was no big deal in the face of such work-related efficiencies.

(My aforementioned laundry mistake? Well, on Friday morning, as we prepared to dress for work, Lynda asked if I had washed her jeans--it was Jeans Friday. I said that I had washed Colored clothes, but I had sorted the jeans, denim colored though they are, in with the whites to help even out the quantities.  That's one efficiency that I goofed on.)

Between the lines

I've been doing a lot of reading lately.

Nothing too weighty, mind you, just stuff that I read about on the Internets or hear about on a podcast. (Sometimes, I wonder if I can take anyone seriously anymore unless their voice is digitally filtered and delivered to me via earbuds. But that's my problem, not yours.)

ANYWAY . . .

I read two books by Stefan Fatsis recently. I believe that I've already mentioned Word Freak, which is one man's (Fatsis') journey into the bizarre and socially maladjusted world of competitive Scrabble. Fatsis gets to know the heavy hitters in the tournament circuit and becomes increasingly obsessed with the techniques and methods of being a "serious" "professional" tile jockey. And trust me, these guys play the game in a different stratosphere than those of us who occasionally play around the dinner table. It's all about bingos (using all the tiles on a rack), insanely esoteric word memorization, and stuff like that. I sort of liked the book's journey, but it left the original Scrabble-interested David back in the first few chapters. But I soldiered on anyway.

His other book, recently published, is A Few Seconds of Panic, in which he continues his authorial modus operandi of submersion. To wit, Fatsis this time spends a summer in the training camp of the Denver Broncos NFL franchise training to be a kicker. (It began as a bit of a homage to George Plimpton's Paper Lion work in the late 1960s, but Fatsis spends a great deal of time outlining the heartless machinations of the modern day NFL and how it sucks athletes dry, spitting them out once their skills have eroded or they have become too expensive. It'll change the way you watch TV on Sunday afternoons . . . if that's your thing.

I also just finished a book I heard about on NPR--My Stroke of Insight. This story describes how a neuroscientist experienced her own brain hemorrhage and how she made it through brain surgery and therapy. What hooked me on this story was 1) the oddity of a neuroscientist--someone uniquely prepared to understand the effects of a stroke--undergoing such an event and 2) the particulars of the day the stroke occurred. Dr. Bolte-Taylor's description of the day of the event is intriguing (it was especially so when heard on the radio). 

Currently, I'm reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, renewing my familiarity with the insane universe of Douglas Adams. Adams' books are unique in their own bizarre way, but I feel that a lot of modern pop culture and writing has a bit of a debt to Adams' willingness to stop making sense and just write a bunch of nonsense. It's fun!

As usual, there is more rattling around in my brain, but I don't really want to spend more time tonight trying to type it down.

Perhaps tomorrow?

At War . . . At Home

I feel that we are at war with our home.

We've lived in this house for a little over four years now and for the longest time, we lived in relative harmony with it. We sometimes lived at cross purposes, but for the most part there was a detente of sorts. We agreed to coexist without questioning the right of the other to exist as they saw fit. Sure, there have been skirmishes over the years--like when we redid the master bathroom or when we removed the ugly African themed wallpaper and textured grey paint from the guest room (Now Hannah's room.)

But, the Cold War began to warm about seven months ago. The trigger, for whatever reason, was Hannah's birth. Perhaps we felt that we couldn't properly raise her in this world of uneasy truces. But we fired the first shot soon after Hannah's arrival from the hospital when we redecorated the den. We had made our first aggressive move into enemy territory--without provocation on the house's part. We simply decided that we wanted to depose that room's regime of unsightly appearance. And from there the dominos just kept falling.

The house has tried to fight back with the bathroom floor/dining room ceiling battle. But that is pretty well patched up now and we feel that we are firmly in control and that we are in charge. Unfortunately, the house, while cowed, has an ally in the yard. We have been fighting to hold that front for many years, fending off flanking maneuvers from the weeds and the mulched beds and the drying grass. But, now . . . emboldened by our growing success at winning the hearts and minds of the house, we are now trying to bring our way of life to the backyard and sideyard.

It'll be a hard, tough road. Tempers will flare. Sweat will fly. Backs will ache. But eventually we will prevail.

****

The kids wanted to do that old standby of a lemonade stand this afternoon. Lynda and I were, naturally, skeptical. We made the kids watch out the front window for five minutes and asked them how many people came down the street. Once we told them the had to eliminate our neighbors across the street who were working in their yard, they realized that only one person had come by. But, they were undaunted. We told them that we were not looking forward to mixing up the lemonade and setting up tables and chairs and then they deciding to give up after ten minutes.

But I took my iPod outside to provide some musical diversion. And I took Hannah out as well. She enjoys playing in her exersaucer outside, so that would keep the kids occupied as well. And then our neighbor's kid also came out to keep them interested. Eventually, they did give some away--mostly to the neighbor family and what they drank themselves. And while they were supposed to be giving it away for free, everyone insisted on giving them money anyway. So, they managed to make about $1.75.

All in all, it was a good way to spend some time outside.