NBC Fall TV 2009 Preview Post

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Today I'll probably only have time for one network. And what better network to spend time on today than NBC? (Well, based on Nielsen ratings . . . just about any network besides The CW is a better network than NBC, but I'm not being objective by saying that am I?)

Back in 2006 I wrote about NBC's new lineup of shows and I highlighted the hopes they had placed on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. That show didn't work out as they expected, but neither did their reboot of Knight Rider last year. So, in honor of the epic FAIL that was last year's Knight Rider mess, I'll present the 2009 lineup as if I was the robotic brain of KITT.

Monday:

It seems illogical that you would abandon Heroes [premieres season 4 9/21 @ 8 pm] David. It features super powers, comic books, and things you profess to enjoy, does it not? However, one must consider how badly the show has "jumped the shark" in the last year and a half. The display of emotion on your face indicates that I am right in evaluating your disappointment with the program. Or perhaps I am misinterpreting anger for the excitement you expressed yesterday when you learned that Chuck will replace Heroes in this same time slot later in spring of this television season?

Trauma [premieres 9/28 @ 9 pm] seems to be to match many other shows. By running a detailed statistical analysis of the characters and plot contrivances, I find that this show focused on EMTs and (by necessity) hospitals might attract the same people who watched E.R. for many years. My review of the Internet also shows that a program entitled Day One will replace Trauma at some point, but the NBC network is unable to provide a functional Web site that gives information on the premise. I find this illogical.

Speaking of illogical, David, I also see that NBC will be filling it's 10 pm time slot with a show entitled The Jay Leno Show. My review of entertainment news from the past several months indicates that this Jay Leno retired from public work. Why then is NBC paying him to return? I find human actions sometimes very difficult to understand.

Again, from reviewing your face, I am registering an emotion that could be evaluated as happiness? But you are no fan of Jay Leno, since I have an extensive database of your late night viewing habits for over twenty years and it has almost no evidence of any preference for Mr. Leno. Could your happiness be a realization that because NBC is placing this Jay Leno program each weeknight at 10 pm, you have less to write?

Tuesday:

NBC has chosen to dedicate an entire two-hour block of their Tuesday night schedule to a show called The Biggest Loser. I find humans to be too ready to insult each other with name calling. Even when I battled KARR so many years ago, we did not resort to emotional name calling to gain an upper hand upon each other. Again, my logic circuits have trouble evaluating human actions. And, based on the sensors in my driver's seat, I think that you could stand to lose a few pounds of mass from your torso.

Wednesday:

Yet another hospital drama begins this night on the NBC network. The show entitled Mercy [premieres 9/23 @ 8 pm] cannot be terribly different from other dramas with a similar premise. Perhaps by focusing on the nurses, the viewers might gain a small dollop of newness? I suppose that there were many similarities between several of William Shakespeare's plays. Wait . . . did I just try to make a comparison between Shakespeare and an untested television drama. Maybe I need to get my cognitive circuits tightened when the oil is changed next week?

(In a human-like aside, I note that a different show called Parenthood is ready to replace Mercy in the spring, much like Chuck is preparing to replace Heroes. Does this NBC network have any confidence in the shows it is presenting?)

Law & Order: SVU [premieres 9/23 @ 9 pm] has been on the television for 11 years. It seems that the human race has a great fondness for dramatic entertainment set in hospitals or police headquarters. Is it attractive to watch the human race in extremis? Does it reveal the best and worst of you? Why do humans not want to watch more shows about super-intelligent machinery?

Thursday:

Again, by reviewing my entertainment database, I see that for a significant number of years, the NBC Network made itself popular and wealthy with its Thursday night grouping of shows. It might be instructive to look at this year's grouping on Thursday night to see if such popularity can repeat itself.

SNL: Weekend Update Thursday [premieres 9/17 @ 8 pm] confuses me. I have been devoting a large amount of my RAM memory trying to understand the title alone, which contains the works Saturday, Weekend, and Thursday. I suspect if it is even presented Live as the title also suggests. Additionally, while this show begins here at 8 pm, a note I observed shows that the new program Community [premieres 9/17 @ 9:30] will eventually take this 8 pm position on Thursday night. One wonders if such a new show with an untested plot about community college attendees learning about one another at study group will be able to survive a move from one time slot to another. And while we are at it, David, does not the plot for Community remind you slightly of that movie entitled The Breakfast Club? The show 30 Rock will take the 9:30 slot vacated by Community on October 15.

Parks and Recreation [premieres 9/17 @ 8:30] seems to be stable in this time slot and a show called The Office [premieres 9/17 @ 9 pm] seems to be the most predictable program on this extremely unpredictable night. At least one can confidently say that The Jay Leno Show will be on each night at 10 pm. I am only a super-fast, galactically-smart Trans-Am, but one hopes that The Jay Leno Show succeeds or the NBC Network will be facing a dangerous hole in their nightly programming schedule.

I must say, the confusion surrounding NBC Thursday night makes me wonder if such an ever-changing lineup will translate into ratings success and commercial profit. But, again, perhaps I should keep myself focused on jumping ditches and scanning buildings for security systems.

Friday:

My review of television history shows that Friday nights are where "programs go to terminate" if I am using that human idiom correctly? One wonders if this theory will prove correct in 2009 when the Irresistible Force of Friday night failure meets the Immovable Object of Law & Order [premieres 9/25 @ 8 pm]. Law & Order has been on television since 1989, initially premiering only a few years after my own program went off the air. Additionally, it has undergone many cast changes without suffering visible damage to its overall popularity. I wonder what might have happened if we tried replacing David Hasselhoff with, say . . . Jan Michael Vincent in 1985?

The show Southland [premieres 10/23 @ 9 pm] is a police-based drama in the Los Angeles area. It might be well presented and written, but if a Trans-Am could give a script note, I would suggest they consider making one of the police cruisers Internet-capable . . . or maybe just connected to Twitter. I have found that intelligent vehicles lead to more dramatic captures of criminals.

Saturday/Sunday:

I have decided to forgo a review of the weekend programming on the NBC network. A review of my TV Guide Web site shows that it features repeats of programs aired earlier in the week, a show called Dateline NBC that is almost as difficult to destroy as KARR was and many hours of the human sport of football. (And I should clarify that this is the American football, not the futbol played around the rest of the planet. My programming demands that I be specific on this point.)

ABC Fall 2009 TV preview post

We've covered The CW earlier today, so let's move on to a larger network.

I choose ABC because it is the first in alphabetical terms. And to honor the 2005 edition of my Fall TV reviews, I'm going to do this one in haiku form.

Monday:

Dancing with the Stars [premieres 9/21 @ 8 pm]

Isn't it enough

to have premiere last two hours?

Also three nights long?

The Bachelor will be

a midseason replacement;

dancing not enough.

Castle [premieres 9/21 @ 10 pm]

Nathon Fillion

His pen is not the Hammer . . .

author solving crime.

Tuesday:

Shark Tank [already running @ 8 pm]

Pitch your idea to

Captains of the industry.

Can you make big bucks?

Scrubs/Better off Ted [midseason replacement when Dancing . . . ends, 9-10 pm]

Two-headed beast of

underutilized talent

might be a success?

Forgotten [premieres 9/22 @ 10 pm]

Solving crimes each week.

Did Christian Slater forget

My . . . Worst Enemy?

Wednesday:

Hank [premieres 9/30 @ 8 pm]

Kelsey Grammer is

out-of-work Wall Street exec.

C.D.O.'s are fun?

The Middle [premieres 9/30 @ 8:30 pm]

Patricia Heaton

is in Indiana with

sitcom family fun!

Modern Family [premieres 9/23 @ 9 pm]

Ed O'Neill gripes as

curmudgeon in this sitcom.

Anything new here?

Cougar Town [premieres 9/23 @ 9:30 pm]

40something chick

is played by Courtney Cox who

lusts after HS boys?

Eastwick [premieres 9/23 @ 10 pm]

Hour-long drama

might need Morrisey theme song

to succeed like Charmed.

Thursday:

FlashForward [premieres 9/24 @ 8 pm]

2 minute blackout

shows future to the world. Then

how will they react?

Editorial haiku: I look forward to/this show quite a bit, so I/give it my thumbs up!

Grey's Anatomy [premieres 9/24 @ 9 pm--2 HR. PREMIERE!]

Good locking doctors

still can't find life's happiness.

I am not involved.

Private Practice [premieres 10/1 @ 10 pm]

Grey's spin off also

less than interesting to me.

When is LOST back on?

Friday:

Supernanny [premieres 10/16 @ 8 pm]

What is on Friday

'tween now and then I wonder?

Also . . . Raise Own Kids!

Ugly Betty [premieres 10/9 @ 8 pm?]

So, this on 'til Nanny?

THEN moves to 9 on Friday?

Does anyone care?

20/20 [do you really care when this premieres?]

News mag will always be

compared to 60 Minutes.

Always judged lacking.

Saturday:

College football will

always get more ratings than

any scripted show.

Sunday:

From 7 to 9 on Sunday

don't watch Videos or Home

Repair. Please. Don't do it.

Desperate Housewives [premieres 9/27 @ 9 pm]

This show is still set

on Wisteria Lane, so

not much has changed, huh?

Brothers and Sisters [premieres 9/27 @ 10 pm]

Sally Field! Flockhart!

Not enough to peak interest.

Want to persuade me?

Miscellaneous editorial haiku: V will premiere on/Nov. 3 at 8 o' the clock/Might be interesting.

The CW Fall 2009 TV preview post

[I love this cover!]

In an unorthodox move, I am going to start my review of the Fall with the CW. Why them? Well, as I said at lunch one day within the last two weeks, every year, I pick (at least) one show that I choose to heap scorn upon and predict its demise.

Last year, it was ABC's Cavemen. A few years before that it was NBC's Whoopi. Easy targets, sure. But I think they were worthy targets nonetheless. Neither one lasted the year, and I choose to attribute their failures to incredibly bad judgement on the part of the network.

This year, I am starting with the CW because they are launching a "new" show this week that I am placing firmly within my scorn sites--Melrose Place. It will probably end up being as successful as the relaunch of 90210 was, but that won't stop me from ridiculing the idea whenever I get the opportunity.

So, here we go--

Monday:

One Tree Hill [premiere 9/14] is on at 8 pm and Gossip Girl [premiere 9/14] is on at 9 pm. Beyond that is Local Programming, which in this area means local news. Is anyone watching One Tree Hill anymore? Does anyone even remember what the show is about? I have never watched two minutes of the series, but I know from magazines that it used to be about basketball and now is spinning off into weekly madness that sounds somewhat like a soap opera. I'm never interested. People used to tell me to watch Gossip Girl, but I think that was mostly because it featured a blogging character in the beginning. I never watched . . . and I suspect that the blogging plot hook was quickly dropped in favor of more focus on rich kids in fabulous clothes making poor life choices. Someone tell me, am I wrong?

FUN FACT--The TV Guide Web site that I consulted to find the premiere episode date of Gossip Girl was also displaying a DVD for a Christian-themed DVD entitled "Lamb of God." Why? Who knows? But it won't change the immoral action of the kids on that show. Spinning it in a religious direction would certainly be an unexpected plot twist, huh?

Tuesday:

It's all nostalgia Tuesday night! Your blast into the past begins with another season of 90210 [premiere 9/8] at 8 pm. This is another show that I have never watched, in either its original or its updated incarnation. I guess I don't have much interest in a show that focuses on the lives of the wealthy and boring (unless they have superpowers or something). But with character names like Adrianna and Silver, you might find something to like I guess. However, why not watch, just so you can get yourself in the right frame of mind for the series premiere of Melrose Place [premiere 9/8] at 9 pm? Were you a fan of the original, a series about people who lived in the same apartment complex and who's lives got all intertwined and stuff? It's biggest claim to fame was resurrecting the career of Heather Locklear and pushing her to (maybe) fame's B-list. But here is a synopsis of the reboot show's plot (via TVGuide.com)--

The CW's remake of the soapy '90s melodrama features many familiar archetypes: the brooding bad boy, the nice couple, and the powerful bitch, to name three. The new show departs from its source material with a mystery storyline concerning a dead body that appears, Sunset Boulevard-style, in the apartment complex's pool.

Kinda sounds a bit like Veronica Mars to me. Any viewers who tune in should be so lucky.

FUN FACT--How long do you figure it will be before Ms. Locklear returns to the new Melrose in a much ballyhooed and promo'd way? Will they wait all the way until May sweeps at the end of the season?

Wednesday:

America's Next Top Model [premiere 9/9] returns once more at 8 pm. Are you surprised to hear that I haven't watched this show either? Are you beginning to wonder why I am qualified to ever spend this much time writing on TV I don't watch? Well, it's because I have made this a part of my blogging repertoire ever since the first year I started this blog back in 2004 (back when The CW battled for viewership with a crazy network called UPN). Leaving that aside, I know reasonably intelligent people who actively watch ANTM every week. So, it must feature some sort of entertainment--though I suspect that entertainment is mostly due to a healthy dose of Crazy Tyra Banks. (Still, making fun of Tyra has give Joel McHale a career--more on him in another post, though.) A new show makes it's debut Wednesday night at 9 pm. The Beautiful Life: TBL [premieres 9/16] is looking to ride the fashion-based coattails of Tyra by setting the drama around two models trying to make their way in the fashion business. I know that the corpse of Misha Barton washed up on this show after the demise of The O.C. and the other notable name that I see is Corbin Bleu (of High School Musical fame). What I'm really intrigued by, however, is the redundant name of the series. Are they trying to steal from quality karma from the CSI shows?

FUN FACT--it must (?) be noteworthy that this 13th season of ANTM features all of the models at a height of 5 ft. 7 in. or less. Will America applaud?

Thursday:

Have you heard of Twilight? Are you aware that vampires are so hot right now? Because they are. Do you think True Blood is quality television? Well, maybe you'll tune in for the series premiere of The Vampire Diaries [premiere 9/10] at 8 pm. You can guess that it will feature brooding, longing looks, tortured sexual innuendo that suddenly bursts forth in inappropriate ways! Does that sound good? Wound you be swayed if I told you that LOST (season 1) veteran Ian Somerhalder is on the show? No? What if I told you that I think Somerhalder plays an evil vampire who is brother to the tortured one trying to be good? Still no? Well then, why not try Supernatural [premiere 9/10] at 9 pm. It also features brothers who deal with demons, the occult, and odd stuff. This show has been on the air for a few years and Lynda claims the few episodes that she has watched to be "good." But she also likes the original British version of Dr. Who.

FUN FACT--It is somehow important for the TV Guide synopsis of Supernatural to point out that the demon-fighting brothers travel around the country in a '67 Impala. Is that somehow vital to the plot in a way I've never understood? Is there a Stephen Kingish "Christine" thing going on here?

Friday:

For me, here is the only show on The CW that I am watching. As in years past, that show is Smallville [premiere 9/25] at 8 pm. I've seen the trailer for season 9 (nine!!) and it looks dark, brooding, angry, and sad. The show was once bright, fun, and full of cheesy good cheer. But I guess being a superpowered teen in Kansas was a major bummer for our Clark Kent. Either that or he took 9/11 really hard a few years back. The only character still on from the early years is my favorite non-canon character of Chloe Sullivan. Once Clark's oft-overlooked love interest and always a bit of geeky sex appeal, she hangs on now because . . . well, I don't know. Her husband, James (don't call me "Jimmy") Olsen, tried to break up with her last season due to extreme jealously and general idiocy. But they are trying to make amends. Clark's biggest superpower remain his willingness to overlook what a terrible character the show has created for Lois Lane and perhaps it is this that makes him unwilling to fly. But, like a crack addict, I'll be back again this year. Will it be the last?

FUN FACT--The CW acknowledges that nobody with a social life is watching it's network on Friday nights at 9 pm, so it will be showing reruns of the ANTM episode it showed earlier in the week.

Earn Charity Donations on Blogger with SocialVibe

I've said before on this page that I admire how large fan bases (such as the online Harry Potter community and the Nerdfighters) can use their fandom to work collectively for the common good.

It is in that spirit that I am taking advantage of a new Blogger plug in widget that allows my site to do something charitable.

I, of course, do not have any fans, only friends and relatives who come by now and again to see what I'm throwing up on WWYG. But you are all wellmeaning people who want to help others. So, if you feel inspired to click on the new box at the top right of the page, please do.

I've said before that I wouldn't put up Blogger/Google's AdSense ads on my blog because 1) it wouldn't make me any money anyway and 2) this site isn't about profit for me. But I've posted links to charitable stuff in the past and I see no reason why I couldn't do it here.

To read more about the SocialVibe effort that is the impetus of this new Blogger initiative, read this information that I edited from Blogger.

*****

Guest Post by Joe Marchese, SocialVibe CEO


In honor of Blogger's 10th anniversary, we are excited to announce that you can now use your blogs to create positive, measurable social change. By adding the SocialVibe gadget to your blog, you'll be turning brand dollars into real charitable donations for the cause of your choice. The World Wildlife Foundation, Nature Conservancy, DonorsChoose, Invisible Children, and Charity:Water are just a few of the great charities you can support on Blogger.


[M]oney will be earned for charities every time readers engage with the gadget (e.g. rating a Showtime video clip). You can switch your cause and sponsor as often as you like, and receive regular updates from your charity about goal progress and impact. Thus far, SocialVibe has been able to raise over $500,000 for charities, and we know the Blogger community will be able to significantly increase this amount. In fact, we are setting a goal for the community to raise $50,000 before the end of the year (and remember, you don't raise money by taking money out of your pocket—or your audience's—but rather by getting your readers to engage with your SocialVibe gadget).


With SocialVibe, the Blogger community can pool our individual influences to create positive change in the world. Never before has making a positive social impact online been this easy.

What's next on my reading list?

As I mentioned on Twitter last night, I finished the Stephen King Dark Tower series. I liked it fine, may it do 'ya, but I wasn't in love with it when it was over.

But, what is next for me?

I've got several books on the bedside table--James Mitchner's "Space," Jimmy Carter's "Our Enduring Values," a book from my mom called "Secular Sanctuary" and something else I can't remember.

Still, I've got a commitment made to read and blog on Jane Austen'a "Pride and Prejudice." why would I do this? It's to support my friend Cordelia's efforts on her new blog, Thar She Blogs. (I'd hyperlink the title, but I'm doing this via the phone.) You can access her blog via the link in my blog list on the right side of the screen.


-- Posted From My iPhone (so, I apologize in advance for any typos I missed)