Fall TV Preview--Dean's Cable Reviews!

[editor's note: Dean came through for me again this year and wrote a nice overview of the significant information you need to know about this fall season's Cable TV offerings. And because he is great, and because I am not yet prepared, I am giving his submission pride of place in this year's Fall TV posts.]

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First I would be remiss if I didn’t urge you to watch Sleepy Hollow. I’m infringing on David’s turf here, but I don’t think he’ll mind.  [ed--HEY! Guess bloggers only get so much leeway. As Heisenberg might warn . . . tread lightly!] Critic Alan Sepinwall has said of it, “I suspect it’s bad.” Let’s make it the highest rated show ever! On to the cable.
 

This year’s reviews feature a rating system to help you decide whether they’re worth your time. I think it’s pretty helpful, and not opaque at all. (Your mileage may vary).

Sunday

Boardwalk Empire (HBO): I almost gave up on this show last season, but then it ended, and oh my how it ended! It’s already started (like most of these shows…mea culpa) but if you have HBO you can catch up on demand. I suggest you do so.   

Series Rating: (On a scale of Mickey Doyle to Al Capone) Lucky Luciano

Breaking Bad (AMC): It’s not too late to start watching Breaking Bad before it ends forever. (It’s probably too late.) [ed.--It's DEFINITELY too late.] As a reminder of the heightened stakes at this late date in the season here are some unanswered questions: a.) Will Lydia and Todd ever get together?  b.) What is Walt Jr. going to have for breakfast? c.) Will Marie ever wear purple again? So tense! [ed--In his dreams and only when she wears a football jersey. Pancakes smothered in syrup and the tears of betrayal. Only when Skyler chooses the purple lining of Marie's coffin!]

Series Rating: (Chili P to Crystal Blue Persuasion): Crystal Blue Persuasion
 

The Walking Dead (AMC): The Walking Dead has an audience that NBC is jealous of. I can't watch this show, because zombies are scary and my wife is having none of it. I'm given to understand that it started off good, got pretty bad, and now is good again? This makes me sad because there's nothing more fun than listening to people complain about a show they are watching and you aren't.
Series Rating: (World War Z the movie to World War Z the book): Resident Evil

 

Other shows: There are other shows on Sunday that you could watch, but ugh, look, I’m tired and don’t want to look at a schedule. I suppose Dexter maybe? If you’re still watching Dexter, why? This isn’t rhetorical, I’m genuinely curious. Isn’t it terrible now? Although I heard Yvonne Strahovski is on this season, so that’s something. [ed--wait . . . WHAT?!] (I give this show a Ted Bundy.) 

Also probably Homeland is on (I give this show an “As You Wish” out of a scale of “love, twue love” to “My name is Inigo Montoya.” Also I’ve never seen it, so that rating is especially arbitrary.) 

So…Sundays!

Monday

Adventure Time with Finn and Jake (Cartoon Network): Most everything I write about is not appropriate for children, but this is! People with children, watch this! People without children should also watch this.   

Series Rating: (plop dumps to algebraic): algebraic
 

Regular Show (Cartoon Network): This show follows the adventures of a Raccoon and a Blue Jay who work in a park trying to slack off. Their boss is a gumball machine. There is also a lollypop man, a high-five ghost, and an immortal gorilla voiced by Mark Hamill. Somehow the show is more insane than that description.

Series Rating: (Thomas to Skips): Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost [ed--ugh . . . what?! How are these insane ratings even helpful to my readership? How is this accessible at ALL? I don't feel that you are treading lightly here.]

Tuesday

Brickleberry (Comedy Central): I only list this show to note that it is terrible.   

Series Rating: (no scale) Daniel Tosh’s rape joke [ed--ummm . . . Dean?]

 
Sons of Anarchy (FX): The last episode of the show featured the following: Prison rape, torture porn, a drowning in a bathtub full of urine (with the body then being micturated upon, another rape, a school shooting. I no longer care about the fate of any of the characters on this show. Ugh. However this show has pretty much everyone from Deadwood on it, so it does have that going for it. [ed--whoa. Guest blogger ladies and gentlemen. I emphasize GUEST blogger.]

Series Rating: (Steve the Drunk to Al Swearengen): George Hearst
 

Top Gear (History): This show is not as good as the British original. It started off really badly, but it’s gained confidence and is finally a show worth checking out.  

Series Rating: (Jason Dawe to Jeremy Clarkson): Richard Hammond
 

Cougar Town (TBS): I’ll be honest, I don’t know when this will return to TV, or if it will be on Tuesdays, but I hope it is, because Tuesday is a wasteland on cable otherwise. Also this show is funny and delightful and) you should watch if you like that sort of thing.  

Series Rating: (Shot glass to Big Joe): Big Carl

Wednesday

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX): First note: If you can’t find this channel it’s hidden amongst all the sport channels. Second note: a show this long in the tooth shouldn’t be so funny still, but it is. Third note: not appropriate for any audiences.
Series Rating: (Charlie Work to Cut-Off Sleeves) Dee Looks Like a Bird [ed--Did you get Badger to write this for you in between Star Trek scripts?]

 
The League (FXX): Do you like Always Sunny? If so watch The League! Honestly, it’s just as funny and just as not appropriate for anyone. 

Series Rating: (Jacksonville Defense to Adrian Peterson) Peyton Manning
 

American Horror Story (FX): This season is about witches! Last season featured Ian McShane as a Murder Santa, so I’m not sure how that can be topped. However, the first episode title of the new season is delightful (and inappropriate for a family blog so look it up, unless you are a young child in which case . . . don’t). [ed--Maybe it's all the weirdness of up above getting to me, but that episode title didn't bother me as much as I expected.]  

Series Rating: (Banshees to Demonic Possession) Every horror trope ever rolled into one undifferentiated mass.

Key & Peele (Comedy Central): I spent an embarrassing amount of time watching Key and Peele clips while writing this. Rather than write something I suggest you "Google" Key & Peele East/West Bowl. You’ll be glad you did.  

Series Rating: (John Smith to A.A. Ron Balakey) Fudge
 

South Park (Comedy Central): This show has been on for 17 seasons now. It’s only 8 years younger than The Simpsons. If you don’t know what this show is about by now, I don’t know what to tell you.  

Series Rating: (Cartman to Butters) Tweek
 

Duck Dynasty (A&E): I’m uncomfortable with most of the reality TV out there. There seems to be more “laughing at” than “laughing with.” Because this is one of the most popular shows on television (not just cable, but all of television) I watched an episode. It was…OK. I’m not sure why it’s so incredibly popular, but at least it’s better than Two and a Half Men. I’ll take a thousand Duck Dynasties over that.  

Series Rating: (Honey Boo-Boo to Duck Dynasty): Duck Dynasty
 

Anger Management: Much like Brickleberry I only note this to say that this is terrible. Stop rewarding Charlie Sheen’s behavior.
Series Rating: (no scale): Alec Baldwin Voice Mail to his daughter

Thursday

I didn’t see any shows worth watching on Thursday so I’ll put in a plug for Netflix Original series which can be watched at any time. Orange is the New Black (on a scale of Piper to Red, I’d give it a Red) is incredible. Arrested Development is still funny enough to rewatch a few times (I’d rate season 4 as “Same” or maybe even a “sad Peanuts theme”).[ed--SAME.] Derek has Karl Pilkington and I am a sucker for Karl Pilkington (On a scale of Life’s Too Short to The Office I’d rate Karl Pilkington “The Ricky Gervais Show.”)

Friday

Legend of Korra: Book Two: Last season of this children’s cartoon featured a murder-suicide. It hasn’t reached the heights of Avatar: the Last Airbender yet, but I’m definitely watching. [ed--Now I tread lightly on Dean's turf by also encouraging you to watch Korra. He makes the murder-suicide thing sound like a bigger deal than it was within the entire context of the whole first season. If you can handle the name of American Horror Story's season 3 pilot, you can handle this.]
Series Rating: (Azula to Uncle Iroh) Zuko [ed--HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!! (A:TLA fans know what I'm talking about.)]

Saturday

College Football (ESPN probably): Football!
Series Rating: (Big East to SEC): Pac 12

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[ed--Well, what could be clearer? Thanks much Dean for kicking off this year's Fall TV Preview. Any complaints regarding the content of this post can be directed to hapless23@wwyg_complaint_dept.biz]

A Tangled Web From There to Here

Well, first there was Harry Potter

And then there was Brotherhood 2.0 which was unrelated to the first thing.

But, because of this video within the second thing that referenced the first thing:



the fans of that very first thing started to pay attention to that second thing.

And then . . . a bit later, I heard about it all via this Leaky Cauldron thing.

So . . . I began watching all of the videos made during the Brotherhood 2.0 thing, which eventually ended. But then the Brothers decided to keep it going, which has eventually turned into this Vlogbrothers thing.

And, all of that in many circuitous ways led to this dftba.com thing which is often prominently represented by this Pizza John thingamongst many of the community.

Now . . . I'm not going to go and locate the exact video (out of so many years worth of videos) what that Pizza John image initially came from . . . sorry. But what you need to know is that other things--of course-- were also happening during all of this time. Stuff like this, but most especially this:

And due to the confluence of all of these things, there was this.

It has been a great ride from there to here. I'm so happy to be riding along with it.

DFTBA!

Ye Olde Labour Day Weekende

Yeah, we went to the Ohio Renaissance Festival with the kids today. It was the opening weekend of the yearly event and it sort of felt a bit like old times (olde tymes?) for Lynda and I.

The last time we visited a Renaissance Festival was this very same one between Columbus and Cincinnati, but it was probably 14 years ago, back before we had kids, when we were just a  footloose couple looking to have fun. (But naturally, since we aren't THAT carefree, we still had to do it in the context of taking some kids from our (then) church to have fun on a Saturday.

This time it was our own kids having the fun. (If you're a Facebook friend of mine, you can see the pictures over in that space. You can get there by clicking the WWY Facebook?! link at the top of this blog page.) We ate some food, listened to some minstrels, walked around a bit. I even got to drink some hard apple cider, which was nice.

Of course, Ren Fests are not entirely new to Lynda and I, kids or not, Ohio or not. Our first visit back in time was way back in our college days. My room mate Gerry and some of his friends were frequent merry-makers and they had the garb and swords to prove it. Lynda and I weren't THAT committed, but we traveled down that road a tiny bit--at least I did. See below for the evidence. (These photos came out of my 1992 scrapbook.)

(Yeah, that's right . . . I kept pretty extensive scrapbooks once upon a time.)

The jester's hat was Gerry's. The sweet Macintosh computer was also Gerry's. This was our dorm room above Honors House on the Georgia Southern U. campus. This half room upstairs was later declared a fire hazard. But Gerry lived up there for two years and I lived up there for three. But let's focus on the hat, okay?

The fair maiden Lynda bedecked with her Renaissance Festival hair garland. (There's a ribbon running down the back. The t-shirt is also a Ren Fest souvenir, but you can't get a good look at the design. I think this was taken in the "backyard"area of Honors House, near where the steps lead to the basement.

Here I am all decked out in my full garb. Pants, shirt, necklace. looooong tasseled hat with a fancy pattern and a cute little jingly bell on the end. (This was worn for Halloween one year, so THAT is why I am wearing socks with my sandals. It was late October and cold. Plus . . . my feet are ugly.

Proof that we knew how to have fun once upon a time.

Fall TV Previews . . .

It is September 1. That means that the annual Why Won't You Grow?! Fall TV preview posts are soon to arrive.

I know that you all look forward to these posts with great anticipation. And this year shouldn't be any different. There will be the usual assortment of returning favorite shows from years past, and particular focus on the new slate of terrible ideas that will be ridiculed and those selected few ideas that might end up being something worth devoting your television time towards.

If you want to review Fall TV Previews from the past, I decided to make it easier for you. I've created a Page along the top row of my blog page, below the header art and above the start of the most recent post. Just click on Fall TV Previews to go to the index page.

Now, in the coming weeks I'll be posting on specific networks and the like, but I thought I would tease you a bit by highlighting two items that I think are going to be of particular significance in this coming year.

Item 1--This show will either be amazing or horrifying or equal parts of both.

I can't wait to find out what this crazy idea will be like.

Item 2--You may know that this is the last year of How I Met Your Mother, a show that I have loved and been disappointed by in recent years. But in this last season, we'll get to the mother (who was finally glimpsed at the end of last year) and start wrapping up all of those loose ends that the show has gleefully strewn abut for the past 8 years.

One of those loose ends?

Click the link to visit the page.

I've as excited by this as I am the notion of a headless horseman galloping around in modern day Manhattan.

But you should start getting excited for the 2013 Fall TV Previews. They're coming up!

The HP Cover Comparison

Recently, the new 15th anniversary covers of the Scholastic U.S. Harry Potter books has been making the news. And so I thought I would put up some side-by-side comparisons of the original Mary Grand Pre art with the new art by Kazu Kibuishi.

Year 1: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

 

The original U.S. cover for Sorcerer's Stone is not one of my favorites Harry looks very much like a dork here. And while that is appropriate to the conditions that he finds himself in, the sneakers and the glasses slipping down his face conspire to make him look like someone out of the 1950s. Plus, the school robe is billowing out behind him too much like a cape. In general, this cover suffers from a problem that several of the early HP covers had. There is too much disparate action going on. The 3-headed dog underneath the castle and the unicorn running by and the distracting diamond banner and the colonnades all combine to throw too much at you at once. (To be fair, the full wrap-around image balances things out a bit better and throws some pretty dramatic Dumbledore action your way.)

In contrast, the new Sorcerer's Stone cover does a much better job of throwing lots of details at you, but doing so in a coherent way that helps you understand the story--or at least this particular moment. And that is what makes this style better (for now). The new cover focuses on a moment in time and gives you all those details of that moment. The Grand Pre cover threw lots of stuff across the book together on a messy sort of montage.

Winner: Kazu

Year 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

This Grand Pre is less cluttered that its predecessor and does a better job of focusing on an event and telling that particular story. (And though this front only view doesn't show it, the full wrap-around dust jacket image shows who's clutching Harry's ankle as Fawkes flies them out of the Chamber of Secrets.
So . . . all in all, a better effort. BUT, Harry still looks like he just stumbled out of a crew meeting on early 80s Bill Murray vehicle Meatballs.
Again, the Kibuishi image is a strong one, vibrant with color and focused on a moment. You can see Ron and Harry peeking out of the back of the Ford Anglia and any picture that takes the time to devote itself to The Burrow is going to win me over.

Winner: Kazu . . . but it's closer than you think.

Year 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

 

The improvements that were made in Chamber of Secrets seem to have slipped back a step or two in the original art. I'm not suggesting that the image is too overwhelming, because it isn't. But the figure shapes have simply always bothered me. The hippogriff just doesn't seem right--and that is saying something for a creature that combines the torso and hind quarters of a horse with the head, wings, and (paws?) of an . . . eagle?

So maybe Grand Pre is kind of doomed from the start. But also, Harry look excessively cartoonish here. His legs are weird and he looks chubby and distorted. And while we don't get to see much of Hermione here, she's not looking that great either. (The full image maybe makes things more coherent, but still not a favorite of mine.) 

The new Kazu Kibuishi image is much, much stronger. Talk about drama! But I do have two quibbles. I feel that this cover leans especially hard on the imagery of the movie. And the color blue slips back into the picture here again (and its only the third book). This is a problem that I'll be coming back to again.

Winner: Kazu . . . fairly easily, it turns out.

Year 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

 

Now . . . now we've got some serious competition here! The Grand Pre cover on the right is easily the strongest one examined so far. Harry looks like an actual person and not like a cartoon from the Great Depression. The presence of the three other Triwizard champions behind Harry don't distract me, mostly because Harry is drawn so well for a change and there isn't lots of other cluttery scenery. And, if you, like me wondered what Harry was standing in front of (a Venus fly trap? Brer Rabbit's briar patch?), wonder no more. But while Harry looks much better here, his slovenly clothes are sort of problematic . . . and NOT for the last time.

You might think that I'm going to give this one to Grand Pre . . . but LOOK at that Kibuishi cover! Yes, again, it owes a bit too much to the movie image that I think it should. But having that Horntail come right at you is pretty dramatic stuff.

Winner: Um . . . I've got to give it to Grand Pre on this one. This was the first BIG book and the start of the real Harry Potter boom in the U.S. began as people were waiting for this book to be published. The pressure was on and she delivered an iconic image. (It was in Newsweek--back when Newsweek mattered.)

Year 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Blue, blue, blue! Everything is blue. But this is only Grand Pre's (on the right side, in case you're unsure) first use of blue (or purple or whatever. I'm color-blind, okay?) Kibuishi has already gone down this color palate twice before.
Again, strong Harry figure by Grand Pre this time. And things aren't cluttered or confused. This is a dramatic image telling a story. Harry is in charge and figuring stuff out, y'all! He's not chubby goofball on a bizarre hippogriff. He's got his wand out and he's ready to kick some Deatheater ass!
Kazu's cover is a very good one. The scene is pretty and energetic and the detail of Harry's face is really, really strong. But . . . Order of the Phoenix is a significant book for me.
I was firmly on the bandwagon by this time, but OotP was the first HP book that I had to wait for. It was the first one that I preordered. It was the one that arrived on my door step the weekend after my second daughter was born. I took advantage of my visiting mother-in-law, who was helping with the infant and sped through Phoenix in record time. (And then immediately handed it over for her to read.) Sure, Harry acted like a git through most of the book. But still . . .

Winner: Grand Pre

Year 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

 

I've always like the green of Grand Pre cover image on the right. And since Half-Blood Prince is #1B in my ranking of favorite Harry Potter books, I'm going to be hard pressed to be objective about how I rate this one. All right, how about I criticize Grand Pre's full image for being sort of disjointed and not really unified? And how about I criticize the way that she draws the Death Eater mark in the sky? Is that enough?

Kazu Kibuishi's image is really blue (again!), and really based on the movie image. So, those are things I don't like immediately. Also, Harry's invisibility cloak looks kinda like Metro Man's cape for some reason. So, points off for that . . . I guess. But it's a really strong image overall. This is a really close call.

Winner: Push! 

Year 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Now, can I POSSIBLY end up voting against Grand Pre's iconic image for Deathly Hallows (on the right)? After I spend so much time listening to Pottercast theories about what this scene represented while we waited for the book to be released? What was he reaching up for? Where is he? What's going ON??!!! So many theories!

BUT! Here again, I've never liked Harry's clothes in this image. Too slovenly (as was hinted at in Goblet of Fire above. And the full image brings back the curtain effect that wasn't enjoyable in Sorcerer's Stone. And, I just don't like the Voldemort imagery in that full image either. Even with those criticisms however . . .

Kibuishi's cover is a good one. AND it is the only one that focuses on the Trio, which is appropriate as they form such a vital grouping throughout this story. The background coloration stands out dramatically against the pearly color of the dragon and also is a nod to the sunrise coloration that makes Grand Pre's cover so dramatic. Kibuishi's cover is very, very good and much, MUCH better than the original Bloomsbury version that I have always disliked.

Winner: Mary Grand Pre. (I've simply GOT to.)

The final tally? 3 for Kazu Kibuishi and 3 for Mary Grand Pre with one push.

I guess I really wimped out here. But I think what I've learned is that Grand Pre's art improved as the series grew in popularity and import. She was riding the roller coaster (though probably in a car farther back on the train) along with Jo. And she helped define the characters before Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson overwhelmed things at the end.

Kazu Kibuishi's job was hard, no doubt. He has to introduce the stories to a new generation who (somehow?) are approaching it for the first time or most likely were introduced to the movies first. (A tragedy.) And so, I guess I forgive him a bit for relying on movie imagery as much as I think he did. And his images are striking and really, really nice.

But I think I let my nostalgia win me over in the final analysis. We'll see what I purchase when I have to start replacing my worn down HP books in a few more years.