2014 Fall TV Preview: CBS

The Fall TV Preview is underway for 2014. You can find the other 2014 posts here, along with the other posts I've written on the subject in past years.

In this post, we're going to take a look at CBS.

Wait . . . hold on. Am I reading this right? Are there only three new shows in this Fall season for CBS? Can that possibly be right? If so, then these three new shows are NCIS: New Orleans, The McCarthys, Scorpion, and Stalker. Oh, hold on. That is four shows. That's better . . . I guess? Or am I just not finding the correct listing of shows for CBS?

But why would that be hard? Is the trend for broadcast TV so downward that they can't even be bothered to promote their shows? Or is CBS so confident in their #1 mainstream status that they didn't green light lots of new shows because their old shows are relatively strong?

So many questions.

Well, let's take a look at these discovered new shows and then maybe I can find something else as I dig around.

NCIS: New Orleans (premieres Sept. 23): Police procedurals are the gifts that keep on giving year after year. They are the Swiss Army knife of television shows because they can fit anywhere and you came make them "fresh" by moving them to a new city and throwing together a new cast. This cast is centered around Scott Bacula. I can't think of anything witty to say about this show because it is not interested in being witty or flashy or different. Much like this paragraph, NCIS: New Orleans is content to simply take up space.

Credit: www.cbs.com

The McCarthys (premieres Oct. 30): Now, what do you think this show is about? I haven't done any research on it yet, so I know as much as you might. Let's make some guesses based on the photo that the Web site provided. Obviously . . . the dude standing up is the main focal point of the show. Let's suppose that his name is Ian McCarthy. And from the looks of it he and his dad, his (long-suffering) wife, his boorish (younger?) brother--and his wife, and their . . . um . . . work neighbor that lives nearby? Well, they all like to get together and watch . . . college football every weekend. And judging from the green shamrock (not pictures in the screen cap) to the left on the main page . . . they are Irish? Notre Dame fans? Living in Boston?

Let's see if I got ANY of that remotely close.

Well, I guess wrong about who was the main character and I didn't anticipate the homosexual angle. And I mixed up the mother by identifying her as a wife (I guess I misinterpreted older for long-suffering. AND . . . I got the relationship of the brother and sister wrong by making them husband and wife. BUT I did guess Boston and gathering for sports periodically correct! So . . . 30 imaginary points go to me.

Now . . . I'm not going to watch this show because ethnic humor is usually as tired and stereotypical as the semi-racist humor that was backed-away from in my ABC Preview. But, I'm wondering why this show is not premiering until late October? Is CBS broadcasting the World Series this year and I'm not aware of it? Anyway, let's not spend more time worrying about it.

Scorpion (premieres Sept. 22): Before you really start reading through this write up, click on the link to this show's page and take a hard look at the main photo. I recognize that trying to sum up a brand new show concept in a static image like this is challenging--as was proven by my previous exercise with The McCarthys. But WHAT is that lady in the background doing with the sparking electrical extension cords? Is she an electrician? A magician? WHY would you choose that pose as her defining moment to an unfamiliar public?

As to what the show is about? Well, as the chalkboard full of equations may suggest, the show collects several people of high IQ together to work for the government solving difficult cases. Maybe the government doesn't know how to fix their electrical problems? So, yeah .. . CBS is locking DOWN the police procedural corner of broadcast television.

Stalker (premieres Oct. 1): If you like one-word, S-construction names for you TV shows then CBS is for you! But if you like feel-good shows with uplifting messages this show is most-likely NOT for you, as the main image on the show page is a hoodied figure with no visible face. (Honestly, given the image resonance this has with Trayvon Martin I'm a bit surprised by that. But I guess that was a few years ago. Maybe I'm too sensitive.)

Based on some simple one-line statements on the show site, Stalker seems to be like a watered down version of an Arkham Asylum breakout or an amped up police procedural show. There are detectives (Dylan McDermott and Maggie Q) facing off against criminals. But the criminals seems more elaborate than just the sort of guys that get jailed on Castle each week. There is a definite horror element to the show. Maybe CBS learned something from FOX's Sleepy Hollow success last year?Speaking of learning from other success . . . hey CBS, do you like female-themed political shows?

Madam Secretary (premieres Sept. 21): Tea Leone is not Julia Louis Dreyfus. But Leone has been around the TV block several times like JLD and even has some experience in the television comedy. But I don't get the vibe that Madam Secretary is trying to be funny. If it were, the cover image would show a cast of wacky aides with ties askew, perhaps trying to prevent a tourist from spilling a soft drink on the Declaration of Independence. Rather, Madam Secretary looks more like CBS' version of The West Wing, a character-driven platform to allow the creators to speak about American foreign policy and such. And my supposition is definitely made more solid by the fact that the show is scheduled to be on Sunday nights--America's most serious night of television.

And so, I think that may be it for new Fall Shows. Another smallish bunch. But CBS has lots of solid stuff to keep its numbers up. There is Football on the weekend--both college and professional. And they've got critical favorites like The Good Wife and Revenge and Scandal coming back. And of course they've got The Big Bang Theory chugging along and racking up numbers and nominations every season.

As for me? On this network, I'll be looking forward to the return of Elementary and The Big Bang Theory. But what are your favorite shows on the Tiffany Network? Do any of these new shows look good to you? Do you think Stalker might become some sort of hit mid week? And how do actors like Dylan McDermott keep getting shows like clockwork year after year after year? Let me know down in the comments.

2014 Fall TV Preview: ABC

Do you feel that bite in the air? Summer is going and Fall is returning and that can only mean that I am going to rapidly type up some hasty thoughts about this year's Fall TV lineup for the major broadcast networks.

I've been doing this since my blog began back in 2004--and I even forgot to commemorate my tenth year anniversary back on August 12, so very bad job by me. But I've realized that mistake now and have updated my header tag accordingly:

. . . but that is not why you  are here. You are here because I have actually  already started the posts for 2014 back at the start of the calendar year. Back when Dean guest blogged about the winter season shows worth caring about. And then Angie chimed in with her own thoughts on which returning post-Christmas shows you should continue watching.

But I'm here to talk about the NEW shows on broadcast. Are there any that are worth your time this year? Have you given up on mainstream TV as much as the major networks have? Is cable and Hulu and Netflix and Amazon Prime the only places to get quality entertainment beamed at you? Most critics have been saying yes for many years. And since I'm no professional, who am I to argue against people who are paid to watch TV for a living?

Credit: www.abc.go.com

Let's get things started with ABC--because it comes first in alphabetical order!

Selfie (premiere Sept. 30): I want this show to be funny and watchable mostly because I really like Karen Gillan. She played my favorite Companion on Doctor Who (Amy Pond) and I really like her beautiful red hair. (I HOPE that is the most shallow and useless thing that I mention on this series of posts.) Also, Karen is Scottish and that is great as well. But she won't be using her natural accent in the show--which is strike 1.

She plays Eliza Dooley (get it?) who has lots (less than 300,000 is lots?) of social media followers and decided that she is shallow and needs to change herself into a more well rounded person (are you getting it?). So she hires John Cho--of Harold and Kumar & Star Trek fame--to help her remake herself (really, honestly . . . are you GETTING IT?)

Can't I just enjoy watching Karen Gillan again?!!!!

Sigh . . . probably NOT.

Manhattan Love Story (premiere Sept. 30): The conceit of this show is that you are experiencing the unfiltered thoughts of people as they go through their days and knowing what they know . . . but won't say. You remember the other times this premise was done with overwhelming success, right? [Really, please . . . click on the first link. And if you are too young to know what that is, click here. I find it unfathomable that it lasted for four years?]

But, more about Manhattan Love Story. It just seems very cliched and stereotypical. It's lazy writing hung on a tired concept.

What's next? Well, if you were a fan of Ringer from a few years ago. And if you thought The Fantastic Four was a better comic book movie than everyone says it is. And . . . . if you thought what the world needs now is some sort of mash up between Dexter and The Vampire Diaries, then this next show is maybe for you? Fair warning, though . . .  there may only be ONE of you out there.

Forever (premieres Sept. 22 AND Sept. 23): Taking the concept of inexplicable immortality to new heights, this new show will premiere on two back-to-back nights. Ioan Gruffudd brings his many vowels to ABC to depict a doctor with a secret. He.Can't.Die. Which makes him so dedicated to his craft, as he tries to figure out what makes him different.

Perhaps the best thing about this show will be the character of Abe, portrayed by Judd Hirsch. He looks exactly the same as he did when portraying Jeff Goldblum's dad in Independence Day waaay back in the 1990s. Same rumpled hair, graying beard, slouchy clothes. Maybe, HE'S the immortal one?

And I love that his character is only identified with one name. Its like ABC is saying: "Let's see . . . clothes, hair, yeah. We know exactly who this dude is. No one needs to think much about him. So he only needs one name."

And speaking of not putting lots of thought into things . . .

Black-ish (premieres Sept 24) and Fresh off the Boat (premieres at some unnamed time when another show crashes and burns) and Cristela (premieres Oct. 10): I'm glad we're living in a post-racial America. Aren't YOU?

Now I'm going to back away from these shows very quickly and try to forget that they are there.

How to Get Away with Murder (premieres Sept. 25): seems like a much better show. It's certainly a much more familiar show, so that is probably a good thing.Viola Davis is a reliable actor and Shonda Rhimes knows how to put together a reliable show. So . . . I guess this is the Ole Reliable of this season for ABC. And why not? It's a crime procedural, involving murder, and lots of dialogue. Feels like Castle to me.

And that is ALL for new shows with a hard premiere date. Other new ABC shows such as American Crime, Astronaut Wives Club, MARVEL's Agent Carter, Secrets and Lies, and The Whispers are all Coming Soon. Maybe they will premiere after Christmas, when some of these shows have been dropped? Or maybe they just aren't ready yet. Without looking at them any further and going by title and image card alone, I might further investigate Astronaut Wives Club, MARVEL's Agent Carter (a definite Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D spin-off that I would put on a very short leash), and Secrets and Lies 

Credit: abc.go.com

(I have no evidence of this but the imagery of this just makes me hope it is atmospheric and weird like Twin Peaks. But that is probably only wishful thinking.)

As for returning shows that I am interested in . . .  there isn't much on ABC. I only regularly watch Castle and MARVEL's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. But some people might want to see how new seasons of The Goldbergs or The Middle or Modern Family are progressing. Or--heaven forbid--you are still watching Grey's Anatomy. I know people that enjoy watching Revenge and Scandal so maybe you might want to check those out? But they aren't for me. And if you really are watching The Neighbors, I don't have much to say to you.

For further investigation on your own for all the shows I have mentioned and many others I completely ignored, you can visit the ABC Web page and click around on your own.

So, now  . . . talk back to me? Which shows are you interested in that ABC has to offer? Anything look good? What looks especially terrible? Leave a comment, why don'tcha?

LOST Rewatch: The Whole Truth

Credit: tle1lost.wordpress.com

When we last left the LOST Rewatch efforts, we were here.

And yes, that was a LOOOOONG time ago.

How long? Well, check your AppleWatch to help you determine the passage of time. (There, future digital anthro-historians . . . now you can accurately calibrate the cultural moment when I sat down to write this blog post in the early 21st century . . . when digital technology was still important and before we had implanted digital wetware into our biological systems. Funny how we joked about the "Resistance is futile" line from Star Trek: The Next Generation, but failed to recognize how futile was our own resistance to the coming digital singularity as engineered by our corporate-Constitutional masters at Apple Computers? And how we scoffed at the Borg's own choice to digitize themselves in the search for perfection? When we didn't realize that we would soon begin to sell off our redundant organs to join the Cult of JIves? Those were simpler, more organic-based times.)

****

AndbutSO. . . LOST, season 2.

When last we left . . . Henry Gale was still manipulating John Locke and Jack Shepherd and nursing their seething inner insecurities. He's also messing with Sayid and getting him all riled up. But he continues to maintain that he's just a simple hot air balloon enthusiast from Minnesota. (And we all know that Minnesotans are famously insidious and devious.)

And speaking of devious . . . how about an episode featuring Sun and Jin? Those two NEVER tell each other the truth, amirite? She's speaking English behind his back. He's going goonish dirty work for her father that he never owns up too. And who's dog IS that anyway?

But everything looks above board at the start of the Flashbacks. Certainly, the slinky lingerie that Sun is sporting doesn't leave much fabric to hide anything . . . amirite again? But Jin ruins the SexyTimes by getting all clinical. I guess he'd much rather only enjoy marital relations with his beautiful wife if there is the guarantee of procreation involved. Or is Jin lying AGAIN about something else? We may never know because Mr. Thermometer has definitely ruined the mood. Sun is taking her satin nightgown and is going home.

Credit: images4.fanpop.com

As the Flashback progresses, we learn that the Kwons have consulted with a fertility doctor. The doctor informs them that Sun is infertile so they won't be having any children anyway. This further drives a wedge in their shaky marriage and helps drive Sun to meet up with her former suitor, hotel heir Jae who is spending time with Sun teaching her English.

In news on the Island, the fun times of present-day Jin and Sun continue. She is trying to find relaxation and motivation in her garden of plants. But Jin is worried that she'll again be abducted by "the Others" (but really Charlie) and rips up her plants. The Island is full of other types of suspicion as Locke asks Ana Lucia to use her cop interrogation skills to investigate the veracity of Henry Gale's claims as to who he is and where he comes from.

In the course of Ana's interrogation, she gets a map to where Henry claims his balloon is located. And so she and Sayid (and also Charlie--who as you may remember has been on the outs with everyone lately), head off to follow the map and see what they can see.

And so the episode ends with Henry Gale out of the gun locker cell, due to some sort of calculation of good behavior that he sold to Locke.  But Jack is also there with John and both of them are splitting time between giving suspicious side eyes to each other while also keeping a careful eye on Mr. Gale. But their careful gaze doesn't prevent them from giving Henry a nice bowl of Dharma Flakes to enjoy in the Hatch kitchenette.

Oh and yeah . . . that map that Henry gave to Sayid and Ana? It absolutely was just proof of his identity and his hot air balloon location. It definitely WAS NOT a prelude to an Other-driven trap on some secluded spot of the Island.

Promise . . . you guys!

Football Counter-Programming #2

Post by David Martin.

A few days ago, I got tagged to list some books that have influenced me in the past. And so I came up with the list that you see. I thought that looking at this list a bit more carefully would serve as this week's anti-football post.

So, put down the remote, stop trying to understand what Cover-Two Defense means, and read up. It's this week's Football Counter-Programming!

credit: www.videogamesblogger.com

I listed these numbers in approximate chronological order to when I first read them. So take that into account. (For whatever that is worth, I guess.)

1. The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis
I knew that picking a volume of the Narnia books would be on the list. But I chose Magicians rather than The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for a few reasons. First, I try to be iconoclastic when I can manage it. I also LIKE that book the best. But most importantly, I like that this book serves as a flashback that explains the origins or Narnia and how it all came to be. For, you see, my 1980s edition of the Narnia boxed set placed The Magician's Nephew at the sixth book in the seven book series. So, when I read it, it truly served as a FLASHBACK, semi-time travelling story that illuminated the history of Professor Kirke, the building of the wardrobe itself, the creation of Narnia, the "planting" of the lamppost, the arrival of the White Witch and everything else. It might have served as my first childhood mind-blowing moment. And it probably set me up to love all J.J. Abrams-related time-travel episodes and every other use of flashbacks ever.
I hear that most newly published editions of the series put The Magician's Nephew first now. And for all of the self-serving reasons listed above that makes me sad. It is a missed opportunity for surprising revelations for today's new readers.

2. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
As with #1, I had to choose between  The Hobbit, the LotR series as a whole, and The Silmarillion (which is more and more my favorite as I age). But if we are going with the Facebook rules that I choose influential books, then I have to pick the first one that I read. If I hadn't liked The Hobbit, I might never have tried to read LotR and who knows what OTHER books and influences might have changed in my life as a result? Maybe I could have learned to whittle or might have learned to catch a football? Maybe I'd be an accountant with a head for numbers? We'll never know . . .

3. Watership Down by Richard Adams
This completes my childhood trilogy of English fantasy novels. This is the one that swaps hobbits tramping across mythical downs with rabbits that hop across the hilltops. But I'm (also) a sucker for novels that include a glossary in the back. [I could have included Frank Herbert's Dune on this list, but I decided to keep it at ten titles. That is also why Carl Sagan's Cosmos isn't on the list.]
My parents gave me a first edition of this book for my 18th birthday. One of the nicest, most thoughtful gifts I've ever gotten.

4. Magician by Raymond Feist
Other worlds, magic, castles, pretty princesses and unrequited love with the overlooked orphan boy. My middle school/freshman high school self LOVED this stuff. It spoke to the fearful part of me that was afraid to be authentic and bold and show myself to everyone else. It fed the prideful part of me that just knew that there was more to me than anyone else could ever guess. All you nerds who are disgruntled and afraid and inarticulate . . . give this book (and its sequels) a try.

5. The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Let's give my high school self a moment of congratulatory applause for stepping outside of the fantasy cycle and reading something set in the real world for a change. (In this case 1960s Charleston, South Carolina . . . the Citadel military academy to be specific.)
Equal parts memoir, mystery, expose The Prince of Tides represents that period of my young reading life when I was trying to read more Southern literature--traditional stuff like Gone with the Wind, the John Jakes North and South Civil War series, Ferrol Sams, and some others. But I think I've liked Conroy's book the best. It is a really engaging and mysterious story about the military, the Southern culture, racism, and Conroy's own family tortures. I've read some of his other books, but this is his best. The move that also came out during these years was seen after I had read the book the first time and it wasn't as good.

6. A Supposedly Fun Think I'll Never Do Again by David Foster Wallace
I've written on WWYG?! many times about my appreciation of DFW and this book in particular. It was my first experience with his writing and easily the most accessible for a newbie. In fact, I've always liked his essay volumes more than his novels. They are more bite sized, more varied and engaging and infinitely more approachable.
This book also sort of marks the reemergence of fiction reading in my life, after many years of college-based nonfiction reading. I desperately wanted to enjoy reading again. And I'll always honor Wallace's book for helping me remember the variety and unexpectedness of fiction.

7. House of Leaves by Mark J. Danielewski
Again, if you search in the archives of WWYG?! you'll see me mention this book again and again. This was another book that helped reawaken my interest in fiction reading. And the story is mysterious and completely original, and just a trip to read. The book is formatted to come alive as you read it and it really excited my imagination and my admiration for the novelty of the work.

8. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
You KNEW I'd list a Potter book on this list, right? But which one? Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is my actual favorite of the seven, with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows an extremely close second. In fact, I've said publicly before that OotP is one of my LEAST favorites. So, why. . . ?
Well, Year 5 represents my entrance into the HP fandom as a real-time participant. Prior to the summer of 2003, I was hearing about the series, reading news stories about it, hearing recommendations from people I trusted and borrowing previously published books from friends.
But Order of the Phoenix was the first one that I preordered, eagerly anticipated its mail arrival, and then devoured it in a matter of days. And it sparked my entry into the internet Web pages and podcasts and everything else that also shaped how I later became a fan/consumer of LOST and many, many movies during the early 2000s.
So, it may not be my most favorite STORY . . . but it was the most influential to my experience.

9. Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs  by Chuck Klosterman
I enjoy Klosterman's writing because it is interesting and it is humorous and it speaks to many of my direct life experiences (or, really, events that happened contemporaneously to my life experiences).
But, to be really honest with you for a minute. I also like reading Klosterman because it makes me feel cool somehow.
I realize that that is an embarassing thing to say and you area all free to judge me for being idiotic and hopelessly naive. But go back and reread some of the things that I wrote about book #4 above.

That stuff never really goes away entirely, you know.

10. Looking for Alaska by John Green
One of John's books was for sure making it on this list and logically it had to be this one for all the same reasons that I picked The Hobbit over The Silmarillion.
Had I not liked LFA, I might not have tried to read An Abundance of Katherines or Paper Towns or Will Grayson, Will Grayson or  The Fault in Our Stars. And I might not have similarly enjoyed Maureen Johnson's Suite Scarlett series or her Shades of London series or enjoyed all of her tweeting.

Anyway . . . that's it.
Maybe you know a bit more about me now? And that was untimately the entire point of the exercise.

What books did YOU like as you grew up? Put some titles in the comments!

Goodbye Official Hat of Summer 2014