Football Counter-Programming 2021: Week 2

It's a new weekend and that means it is time for your favorite returning WWYG?! feature--Football Counter-Programming. In which I spend my precious blogging time trying my hardest to get you to eschew your football watching practices for something else. And in this case, the something else are my musings about whatever strikes my fancy when I sit down at the computer. And I'll be trying my hardest like Minnesota tries its hardest to win a game every against Ohio State.

But enough football content . . . let's get into the theme of the season--which for right now is All Spider-Man All the Time.

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The rumors are swirling about the new Spider-Man movie. 

Will the three Spider-Men actually show up in the film, even though they did not appear in the first trailer? Will Tom Holland's Peter spend most of his time skipping through alternate universes? Will we get any connection to Miles Morales and the Ultimate Spider-Man? Will Tom Holland ever get to be his own character without needing a mentor to guide his way through the movie that is supposed to be about him?

My favorite rumor is centered around trying to understand why Dr. Strange is so willing to bend space and time to indulge the whims of a teenager who just doesn't want to go through the trouble of getting his girlfriend to like him again. (And if Peter thinks what he is facing is hard, then he should talk to my main man Chuck Bartowski about loved ones and memory loss.)

Why would Strange use his cosmic powers just in order to keep a teenager happy? 

Maybe it's because . . . he's NOT Dr. Stephen Strange? Maybe he's . . .

MEPHISTO!

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Oh that's right! Our favorite rumor target is back again. And maybe this time its real! Maybe all that we learned from our weeks of WandaVision rumoring and study is going to pan out this time! Maybe the Devil really made him do it?!

But is it truly likely?

Is Disney willing to spend millions of dollars to center one of the most popular superhero characters in opposition to Satan? Does that fit with Disney's family brand?

My thoughts are . . . no. Mephisto is a fun thing to talk about and to generate Internet buzz. (And that is one of the key aims of a movie trailer.) And it is also true that movie trailers often explicitly create red herrings and diversions in its imagery to mislead. So even though you've seen it, that doesn't mean you will see it when the movie is in front of your eyeballs.

So, do you have a favorite rumor? What are your hopes and dreams for this movie? Who do you think is the best Peter Parker? Do you have an explanation for why Dr. Strange is acting so . . . well, strange?

While you think about those questions ponder this . . . which is more likely--Dr. Strange being a fake representation of the Biblical Personification of Evil or your second-string kicker managing a 50 yard field goal when the game is on the line?

See you next week! 

Football Counter-Programming 2021: Week 1

It is hotter outside than it has been all summer long. But that won't stop me from telling you the inevitable fact that college football is popping up on your Saturday television screens. 

And so, even though it doesn't at all give off the traditional vibes of crisp autumn weekends, raccoon coats and tiny triangular pennants, or seasonal leaves . . . it IS college football season. And so, I must fulfill my duty of presenting you with some Football Counter-Programming.

I simply MUST do it, you see? It is a key defining feature of Why Won't You Grow?! (Especially since I let the coronavirus trip me up last year and I failed to post a Fall TV Preview post--which I had faithfully done . . . in some capacity . . . since 2004.

But that's okay. Time and change and water under the bridge and all that.

And, truthfully, I shouldn't let COVID be the sole blame for why I didn't post a Fall TV Preview post last year. If I'm truly being reflective and honest about myself, there just isn't much happening on Fall TV worth talking about anymore. I spend most of my TV time on premium cable channels and streaming services anymore. And mainstream televised entertainment is really not living up to it right now. Maybe it'll find its way back. And my focus in the past was to make as much fun of what was bad about TV as what might have been good. So maybe I can also find my way back to that blogging tradition. 

But right now, I'm here to counter-program. So counter-program I shall.

And you might be able to guess from opening GIF what I'm going to talk about?

Oh BOY! How do you like THEM apples, eh?

You surely can't be surprised that I am excited about a Spider-Man movie. If you have known my in my life since 2002, you know that I have a long history of loving Spider-Man movies. I once spend weeks of office lunches defending my beloved Tobey Maguire against any and all comers (especially that punk Jake Gyllenhaal). And while Tobey's time in the red-and-blue suit came and went, I still do believe--even after ranking so many Marvel movies--that his Spider-Man 2 is one of the best comic book movies ever made.

And you may have heard rumors about this movie that we could get a multi-versal convergence of Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and Tom Holland all together at once. None of that is obvious in the trailer above. But we are certainly getting villain teases from the previous Spider-verses. And speaking of those "verses," you also should know how deeply I love Spider-Man: Enter the Spiderverse, which was not only technologically amazing animation but a well thought out story and an engaging entry into multiple Peter Parkers and all of that particular chaos that the MCU is building Phase 4 around.

So--the stars are absolutely aligning. And let me be on the record here to say that I absolutely enjoyed Andrew Garfield's time in the suit. I don't understand why his version of Peter was as maligned as people seem to see it. I truly hope that he joins the madness of No Way Home. And if Tobey Maguire is also not in it somehow, I will be sorely disappointed.

But not INCREDIBLY disappointed. Because, to me, even a bad Spider-Man movie is a better time than many other good movies.

Because I AM the guy that said he would willingly take on the risk of amputating my arm is getting radioactive spider venom injected into me might result in spidey powers. And I stand by that commitment even today.

So . . . don't spend your time today watching college football. If it is too hot to go outside, just sit down and watch that trailer on a loop for a few hours. Or even better, put on your own Spider-Man movie marathon. You can't be a wall crawler or a web head. But you can't throw a football 40 yards either.

Until next week true believers!

Movie Review: Black Widow

 

The family reentered movie theaters this past week to celebrate the newest edition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe--the long delayed and long awaited Black Widow backstory for Scarlett Johansson's Avenger.

The TL;DR review of the movie? 

I really enjoyed it. I thought it was equally fun, engaging, funny, and spectacle. 

It is perhaps not surprising to you to learn that the MCU is expert at generating this stuff after a decade + of cranking out these films. And so I was not objective and I fully expected to enjoy myself. And well, I did.

As usual, we ranked the film according to our basic criteria that Grace and I created to evaluate each MCU entry: 1 point each for Plot, Hero, Villain, Music, Cinematography, and End Scene. The only areas that got less than a point were villain and music. 

Those results were of no particular surprise, because the MCU has a long history of not knowing how to handle villains well. And the music for Black Widow was only standard MCU symphonic fair (with the exception of the weird cover of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" that was included just to remind you that this movie scrambled the chronology of the films. 

I think you can see that our highest ranked movies benefit from having a strong villain character and having strong music. That is a reason that the Spiderman movies do so well in our rankings. (Along side the undeniable fact that I am an unrepentant Spiderman fanboy.) 

Slight aside #1--Apparently, based on some post watch reviews that I've listened to, the MCU version of Taskmaster is quite different in Black Widow than is true in the comics canon. But as I have no frame of reference for that, I'll only say that everything about the Taskmaster--with the slight exception of the reveal of who is under the helmet--gave off strong Winter Soldier vibes. And I will ALSO say that every time someone threw around that circular shield, I felt a pang of sadness inside.

(I miss you Steve. I celebrate Sam Wilson and his role as new Cap. But, I miss Steve Rogers. Or maybe I miss Chris Evans? Or maybe the recent July 4th holiday has me thinking about America's Ass again?)

Slight aside #2--My kids recently got me interested in the British show "Taskmaster." It is a reality type of game show where celebrities and comedians in the UK compete in bizarre tasks and get points for how inventively and how creatively and how successfully they accomplish the tasks. It is a fun show that contrasts the different approaches of the different contestants. 

Having watched it, I struggled to keep the correct frame of reference for this MCU villain.

Back to the review--I very much enjoyed David Harbour's character. But I also would have appreciated more space to learn about the Red Guardian. Harbour also gave off strong Hopper vibes from "Stranger Things" in the fact that he was playing patriarch to a found family of wayward ladies. 

(I'd like to know how Eleven might mix it up with Natasha and Yelena in a family reunion. Since Hopper was last ween in Russia during the end scene of Stranger Things season 3, don't rule anything out just yet.)

Florence Pugh was great as Yelena Belova. I haven't seen much other acting work by her. But my kids were big fans of Midsommer and they also liked the recent remake of Little Women. And Pugh is currently dating Zach Braff--who I have liked in past work. No complaints from me. She had a believable little sister vibe. And I too like a versatile vest with pockets.

I was also very pleased to learn that the "Romanoffs" were from Ohio. I now imagine that Black Widow unwound on the weekend by catching up on DVR'ed Buckeye football games. (I'll see if I can work this into my next season's Football Counter-Programming thought process.) And while I agree with reviewers who say that Natasha deserved a national monument for saving the universe, a nondescript grave in somewhere Ohio is a nice choice. 

My thoughts on the End Scene? How dare you slander Hawkeye? The Countess is definitely not showing herself to be a good guy--despite the charming ways of Julia Louis Dreyfuss. I am curious about the cut-rate Avengers team that  the Countess is trying to assemble.

Slight aside #3--Was this movie conceived only to pay off all of the Hawkeye/Black Widow references of who remembers Budapest better?

Slight aside #4--Research tells me that there is something called the Thunderbolts . . . or maybe the Dark Avengers. (Seriously!) This could represent what the Countess is doing with John Walker, aka U.S. Agent and Yelena Belova. But I only know that from reading the Internet. Will this be another Disney+ show in a few years?

In the end, I think this was a good showcase for Scarlett Johansson--even if the nature of her character turned her into Florence Pugh and David Harbour's straight (wo)man. It might have been different if a Black Widow movie had been made five or six years ago. And it probably would only have diminished something mostly non-essential like Ant Man and the Wasp. Johansson should have received more prominence in the MCU. And it should have come before Captain Marvel.

But as we have learned during this summer of Disney+, time is malleable and choices matter. There are infinite possibilities in the multiverse. And even the greatest Avengers can be replaced when a suitable candidate comes along.

COV366D-19--Year Two

 I gave up trying to blog frequently during the pandemic.

I had some moments in the beginning.

And I got some tongue-in-cheek inspiration for last year's Hat of Summer videos.

But it has been 365 days since I started staying home. And today is the start of Year number 2.

Things are very much the same in all of the tedious, superficial ways. I've stayed in my house so much, for so long. But all of the significant things are stable. The job is there. The family is there. We've managed to make our way through it so far. Even though it isn't over.

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Speaking of doing the same things for a long time . . . I enjoyed Hank Green's Vlogbrother's video from yesterday. In it he responds to John's Tuesday video about "rebranding". And in the process, he also talked about how the art of YouTubery is performance--which indirectly supported John's previous video about what happens "outside the frame" of the video camera.

I encourage you to watch all three videos. It is only about thirteen minutes in total and will make you think more interesting thoughts that I can offer this morning.

[In chronological order]

I hope you are well and staying sane and sharing some hope. We are all still in this together, as we said so many days ago when this started.

May we all come out of it together soon.

Happy Holidays--and smell ya later 2020--from the Martins

(This was our Thanksgiving photo.)

 

What a year this has been! 

This may be the most redundant Happy Holidays letter that I will ever write. Because all of you have experienced some of the same highs and lows this year that I have. And we have all shared some common experiences in the last months that are not true most other years. But even with the trauma and difficulties of 2020, each of us found our way through these months with unique experiences.

Here are some of ours.

It has been almost 300 days since Lynda and I last worked in our office or saw our colleagues face-to-face. It has been almost 300 days since our children . . . (And how much longer can I accurately use that descriptor to capture who they are? Most likely it is already woefully out of date.) . . . had something of what normal days are supposed to be. And realistically, it may be another 200 days or so before we can truly resume what used to be our lives.

None of this was anticipated or expected. Now I feel incredibly self-conscious when I accidentally go outside without a mask. Now I wonder when we will stop wiping down our groceries as they come into the house. Now I strategize when we might actually be able to plan a vacation with confidence and not brace for the inevitable rescheduling or cancellation. Now I can only imagine going on a date with Lynda to see a movie and sit down in a restaurant. So many things have changed in 2020.

The important things are stable however.

All five of us--along with Lynd's mom, Cheri--are healthy and safe and secure. We've worked hard to keep it that way, and it has paid off. We miss what socialization we could have done or the places we should have gone in the last nine+ months. But we did it for a reason. We did it for each other and we did it for others beyond us.

Lynda and I are happy to be continuing in our jobs . . . ever changing though they are. The unknowns of our industry in a changing world. Especially when the schools across the country are so topsy turvy. But we are in positions to help affect those unknowns. And that is a good feeling. I can't truly speak for Lynda, who has experienced more organizational readjustments this year. But through all of that her value and work ethic continues to be appreciated. 

My work continues as well. Each week the team makes further progress toward our multi-faceted goals. I've learned a lot this year and continue to try to get better. I'm proud of what I and my department are doing. These are the things you hope for in a job--steady, predictable, fulfilling.

As for Sarah, Grace, and Hannah? They are taking on the unique challenges of 2020 in their own ways. And they are really succeeding in significant ways. 

Sarah finished her first half of junior year at Columbus College of Art and Design. She stayed on campus for much of the Fall Semester, sharing a four-room campus dorm suite with her good friend Josiah. Classes remain digital. She returned home for the last weeks of the semester to gain some social strength from the family during the pressure cooker of completing finals. That wrapped up this week and she has several weeks off to relax and work. 

Grace is halfway through her final year of high school. She was the drum major for the marching band this fall, which was almost the only reason that we left the house during COVID. I was proud of the safety precautions that the band staff embraced and enforced throughout the summer and the fall to keep the kids safe--stricter than they needed to be! And though it wasn't a full season and there were no competitions to enjoy, it was so much better than nothing at all. It would have been heartbreaking to lose that one last change for Grace to experience a band season with her friends. Right now she is waiting on college announcements and finishing up scholarship applications. Her life will be different in many ways by next fall--and so will ours. But she has earned what comes next. And I look forward to seeing her get there.

Hannah is working her way through 7th grade and we are all trying to figure out the best way to navigate the confusion of this school year. Some weeks she is home. Some weeks she is in school. Every day she is learning how to operate more independently and take on some more responsibility as she ages. These middle school years are a difficult time of figuring themselves out. And it is hard for Lynda and I to guide her while allowing space for self-understanding. COVID makes that even harder. She is stuck with us a lot of the time--and that is not always the best place for an almost 13-year-old to be. But simultaneously (and contradictorily) it is frequently the BEST, most important place for her to be. Each day presents its own challenges, successes, and frustrations. We really are building the car as it drives down the road.

I hope you are able to find some time to catch your breath in the weeks ahead. We look forward to taking some time off from the pressures of work. We won't be going home to see family and that is sad. But it is part of the 2020 experience. I hope we can take some moments to look at holiday lights and find some peace during this season. Our church worships will be virtual, but the meaning remains. 

The days are short and the nights can sometimes be cold. But I want to wrap up this difficult year by remembering the good things that did occur. I'm ready to move out of 2020 and I look forward to a better 2021.

Wishing you the same!