Football Counter-Programming 2023: Week 8

So, I started reading Lileks again this week. He was there when I started my blogging days back in the early 2000s. I read his weekday blog (the Bleat) every day at the start of my workday. 

I'm not really sure what prompted me to start reading him again. (But is it a coincidence that I also rewatched this favorite-of-mine YouTube  Time Travel video the same week?)

I return to Lileks in a similar way to how swallows return to Capistrano or like Halley's Comet returns. (Infrequently and . . . regularly? . . . no--let's say predictably.)

As I typed the Capistrano reference, I wonder . . . does anyone know that reference? And other than my own Looney Tunes memories . . . do I even know the reference?

Well, the Internet provides--sort of.

This is what I heard in my head when I thought of the Looney Tunes clip. (Go to about the 2 minute mark to hear it.)

But this is the visuals that I thought of, combined with the song from the previous clip. And this is from a very different cartoon altogether. (Who knew that this song was so popular that it needed multiple references?)

This guy probably knew that it needed multiple references.

So, there you go for this week. Some randomness bolstered by some video clips. But watching these clips is much, much better than watching college football today or even pro football tomorrow.

Do you think Bing Crosby watched lots of football? Maybe in a movie, but in actual life? 

Do you think there is a football team in Capistrano? (Probably yes, given that it is California.)

Despite all of that, DON'T DO IT!

Until next week . . .

Football Counter-Programming 2023: Week 7

When you sit down and are confronted with a blank canvas (or blank white screen), you hope that you have an idea at the ready to fight against the vacuum.

But sometimes you don't. 

And so you sit down and you just start typing the words that appear in your mind's eye as fast as you can and try not to think too much about self-editing while you are also getting too bogged down with clever vocabulary, run-on sentences, proper punctuation, and trying to fix spelling errors as the words appear on the screen.

And you wonder where you should put the paragraph breaks.

And you wonder why there are some consonant combinations that you always mistype ("dl" when you mean "ld"). And you try to ignore (ingore?--really?) the squiggly lines that are appearing in the lines above because right now you are simply trying to typ and not trying to edit and good lord as you do this the squiggly lines are just appearing in massing numbers and its embarrassing but so what? You'll fix it later and the future reader won't know.

But simultaneously, part of your brain is thinking about that time in college when you were applying for a campus-based job and you had to take a typing proficiency test as one of the requirements for the job application. So you sat down in front of a 90s keyboard (a Windows clone or an honest to God IBM-made computer . . . who remembers now? You know, those dirty white, sort of beige colored computers that might actually have been off-white sometime in its early use but due to human skin oils and South Georgia sunlight has been altered into some other color that I'm just now going to call tired)  . . .

(where is the thread of this story? where is the paragraph break? should this be edited later?)

. . . anyway . . .

So, you're sitting down and performing this typing test and you've got some paragraph of text on the desk beside the tired keyboard and you have 60 seconds (is 60 seconds a more effective descriptive than one minute? is one minute less impactful than 1 minute? does anyone care?)

And so, you've got 60 seconds to type as much as you can as accurately as you can. And that is only part of the job application. But you do it and though I don't remember precisely how the person said it, I know that they suggested that they were impressed by my typing proficiency and output in this. And isn't it odd that such a random and completely unimportant compliment (is it?) has stuck semi-firmly in my brain for . . . . pausing typing to calculate . . . almost 25 years? 

And so, as I stream of consciousness my way down this screen that was once blank and is now full of mistyped words, you can see how my brain decided to remind myself of when I was more nimble and my future was also blank and full of promise--much like this screen was also once blank and full of promise.

. . .

Damn, David . . .

You did it. You actually stream of consciousness-ed your way to something semi-profound and you had no idea how you were going to get there. But you did it.

You can't accomplish this stuff watching football.

So don't do it.

Until next week, when the screen will be blank once again.

Football Counter-Programming 2023: Week 5

I sometimes have draft ideas for Football Counter-Programming that I collect over the days. And I throw a few notes together and save the draft and then wait. And then when I sit down to write the words that are sure to draw you away from Saturday sportsball, I maybe just get inspired in a different direction. And I go with it and let the idea flow. And I'll see that draft idea and think that I'll come back to it on another Saturday when you need to be persuaded.

This week? Well, I didn't have a pre-existing idea. And when I fired up the laptop just now to start firing off the mind bombs against the Saturday hegemony, I saw these words floating in the draft space:

Queen's Gambit board game?

https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/346101/queens-gambit-board-game

h/t to Tracy Altman

So, first things first.

I should tip the hat to Tracy--a college friend of mine who never fails to have interesting things to say on Facebook. He was the first to bring up this oddity. Because, really, what even is a board game that is based on the Netflix series Queen's Gambit--a show that is famously about . . . chess.

Isn't chess already a board game?

Am I missing the point?

The website link that I drafted in my notes above don't help me a lot either. It seems that the game "Queen's Gambit" is focused on strategy and outthinking your opponent. And . . . yeah . . . isn't that the point of almost all board games? The mechanics and the description make it sound more than that, sure. I am oversimplifying.

But even so. A bit odd.

But it got me thinking in a different way.

And isn't that the whole point of Football Counter-Programming? To make you see your Saturday differently? To look beyond the ordinary and find that special time that isn't about what everyone else is doing and watching and cheering?

So, thank you German (?) boardgame company for seeing a better-late-than-never marketing opportunity and jumping on it. I look forward to pairing a future game night with Squid Game: The Game very soon. (DON'T TELL ME if that already exists!)

And remember, your alma mater's offensive coordinator's latest kooky scheme isn't going to help it beat Rival State any more than this game is going to make you find a deep-seated love of chess.

So, find something else to do today. At least until I come back at you next week. (Maybe . . . next Saturday is a VERY busy, long marching band day for me. But more on that later . . . probably.)

Football Counter-Programming 2023: Week 4

somebody hears you. you know that. you know that.
somebody hears you. you know that inside.
someone is learning the colors of all your moods, to
(say just the right thing and) show that you’re understood.
here you’re known.

leave your life open. you don’t have. you don’t have to.
leave your life open. you don’t have to hide.
someone is gathering every crumb you drop, these
(mindless decisions and) moments you long forgot.
keep them all.

let our formulas find your soul.
we’ll divine your artesian source (in your mind),
marshal feed and force (our machines will)
to design you a perfect love—
or (better still) a perfect lust.
o how glorious, glorious: a brand new need is born.

now we possess you. you’ll own that. you’ll own that.
now we possess you. you’ll own that in time.
now we will build you an endlessly upward world,
(reach in your pocket) embrace you for all you’re worth.

is that wrong?
isn’t this what you want?
amen

--Vienna Teng, The Hymn of Acxiom

It was busy last weekend. And it is busy this weekend. And it will continue to be busy for the next several weekends. 

So, you might think that taking some time off to relax and enjoy some football would be a good thing.

But that is the opposite of what should happen.

Immerse yourself in other pursuits.

Don't get trapped in the pigskin prison.

Find a new obsession.

Enjoy the coming of the fall while it is still here.

Look for the diversion that is a change in season.

Embrace a shift in perspective as one time ends and another begins.

And remember . . . your alma mater is definitely scrubbing the Internet to get important data on you so that it can target its funding request emails to you in the most appropriate way. And any money that you give it is NOT going to make the football team any better.

Until next week . . .

Football Counter-Programming 2023: Week 2

I know that I am posting a Counter-Programming effort late in the day today. And maybe it is too late for you. Maybe you've spent the first half of your day watching college football and posting about it on social media.

To which I ask . . . is your day better for having done this?

What did I do today? Well, I haven't watched college football, because I'm a man of my word and convictions. I spent several hours this morning at what I sometimes like to call Counter-Programming headquarters (a high school band room). Why do I call it this? Because: 

1. it is about the opposite of football
2. it serves as a training ground to adjust the brain into noticing the brainwashing of football culture and provides a counteragent against said culture.
3. its fun and gets me out of the house
4. it provides fun people  to hang out with
5. the arts is good for you.

What did I do while at Counter-Programming HQ? I helped others outfit the inside of a semi trailer. I bought (and rebought) some wood. I ate a doughnut or two. I helped straighten up the band room before Monday classes. 

All of these things can be yours if you just choose NOT to devote all of your Saturday to college football!

***

But if that didn't sway you, how about this?

Do you remember Sufjan Stevens? 

Do you remember how he PROMISED that he was going to create fifty state-themed music albums. And how he only every really did two? (Or was it one-and-a-half?)

I ran across this article and it dredged it all up again. And it made me sad.

Naturally, I wanted him to write albums for Georgia and for Ohio, my two favorite states. But I would also be quite happy with a Kentucky album as well.

What I definitely DON'T need are any more albums about California. (There are already too many songs for that state.)

Random thought: What would a Idaho album look like?

If you could convince Sufjan to reignite this 50-State project, what states would YOU want to be first on the list? 

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I urge you to click the link above and read the article. Naturally it would be a better use of your time than watching football today.

So, until next week--keep thinking of new things to do. And don't make it about gridirons, or pigskins, or goalposts, or anything like that.