You know you're in Georgia when . . .

. . . you are listening to a country song in the restroom of the Cracker Barrell (natch) and you hear the singer rhyme "kissing girls" with "shootin' squirrels."

(Really . . .)

The trip down yesterday afternoon and this morning have been very good all things considered. Hannah fussed a few times, but she wasn't unusual in that regard. It's not like everyone else has well-tempered angels all the time. We listened to lots of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" and watched several Looney Tunes cartoons. We stopped for the night last night in Knoxville, so we made it through Kentucky and into Tennessee--further than we had expected to go. We had a comfortable night's sleep and Hannah was good enough to sleep in the second-hand Pack'n'Play that we picked up at Once Upon a Child prior to the trip.

Oddly enough, it is very mild weather in northern Atlanta (Alpharetta to be exact). The weather is upper 80s and a breeze as well. We plan to continue the journey tomorrow and arrive in Tifton (my home town) sometime after lunch. Then we'll be done with half-day journeys for a while and just settle in.

D-Day

This "D" could stand for Departure, Destination, Dunderhead, Drama.

Today we've got a lot going on. We've been finalizing our packing for the vacation; we've been tying up the loose ends from Grace's birthday party, and we've been trying not to beat each other senseless with our frustrations, anxiety, or any blunt object.

(Really, it's not that bad. I'm playing it up for Dramatic effect.)

We got most of the packing done last night--along with all of the relevant laundry. We also created a Star Wars bowling theme t-shirt to give away as a party favor for the kids coming to the party. (I'll try to provide a picture of the shirt at another date.) The birthday cake was just delivered, is very cool and looks very similar to this:

The detailing is a bit different on our cake and it was made by a local woman (check her out!) who actually gave us a deal on the price just so she could get the experience and put the image on her website. (And she even threw in some free, unasked-for cupcakes since kids might not eat the fondant.) I didn't tell her that since we are Departing Directly from Grace's party to begin our vacation travels, that some of the cake--extremely lamentably--might not get eaten by us. We are going to try and give it to the neighbors next door who will be attending the party.

But it's working out fine. We've got the car 85% packed, the older girls are at their Saturday gymnastics class, and when they get back it's a quick lunch that cleans out the refrigerator, finish loading the car, grab all the birthday supplies, cake, t-shirts, and cupcakes and we're all off to the bowling alley.

Once the party is over, we put stuff back in the car, pawn off any remaining cake/cupcakes, and hit the road going South. We'll see how far we can get today and stop somewhere in Kentucky for the night. Then off to MSquared's house in northern Hotlanta for a brief respite and night with cousins and family.

More to come as the excitement unfolds! Keep checking back.

Good news/Bad news

1. We're repairing stuff on the house left and right this Spring & Summer--i.e. rebuilding and redecorating the fireplace area, removing old deck and replacing with concrete patio, getting landscaping estimates for the backyard, repairing bathroom leak upstairs guest toilet, inspecting ever-older HVAC unit in basement. / We're spending money like we're nuts, plus the grass in the backyard is all ripped up and trampled, there are big piles of leftover dirt to be utilized elsewhere that's killing other areas of grass, and we're always leaving the office to be at home in the afternoon for some repair or inspection or another thing . . . and there is a hole in the ceiling above the dining room table that is just screwing up the feng shui.


2. We are a house divided . . . between PIRATES and NINJAS! Grace and Lynda favor pirates while Sarah and I favor ninjas. Hannah is as of yet, unable to state a preference, but I suspect that she will--at her earliest convenience, choose ninjas because babies like black and white color contrasts. Who wears black . . . ? Ninjas, that's who!


3. We are going on vacation. / We have to pack the van with everything . . . and we're not going here. (Seriously? What is this place about, anyway? It seems to be, judging by the photographs, catering to the young and sexy who are only interested in the sex. And, can someone please tell me how in the sam hill you are supposed to climb up into that crazy champagne tub thing? Is there a hidden elevator? I would imagine that doing a sexy strip tease for your partner and then acting like a rhesus monkey to climb the side of it would sort of be a buzz kill, right? But even once you're up there, having your fun, good luck maintaining the sexiness while you slip down the side of the elevated tub, covered in soap suds. Breaking a hip doesn't keep the fun going.)


4. During the summer we don't have to drive two cars and can carpool as a family once more. / Remember how we have to leave all the time in the afternoon to be available for HVAC inspectors and plumbers? Well, that means we BOTH have to leave.


5. I've been watching VH1's "I Love the New Millennium" (I know . . . and shut up.) which has been funny in spots and reminds me of things I said about stuff a few years ago, but no one was around with a camera. / I'm subjected to the same Taco Bell Queso Crunchwrap commercial about 12 times a night. But, I am kind of feeling sorry for Taco Bell, because they do have a dilemma. How do you continue to create new food products when you have the same six ingredients in everything? You just sit around trying to think of new shapes and stuff. It's got to be hard.


6. I'm rewatching Joss Whedon's Firefly and that's a good thing. It's set in space, don'tcha know. / But it made me wonder this morning . . . the human characteristics of intelligence, curiosity, and inventiveness is a recipe for disaster. What other species will willingly inject themselves into a foreign environment, surrounding themselves with thin metal spheres and temporary, artificially-created atmospheres? It's a recipe for eventual disaster and a precarious way to live. But humans have been doing it forever. Tired of this land? Build a rickety, leaky boat and sail across the unbreathable mass of water in search of God knows what. Hey, what's under that water? Build a precarious sphere and try to go ever deeper, fighting off crushing pressure, more leaks, and who knows what. You know, I'm tired of the planet. Well, get off of it . . . the only place we know of that supports life. I'm sure you'll be fine. (I know this makes me sound like a curmudgeonly Luddite who doesn't want to leave his house, but the utter precariousness of it is sometimes stunning. Best not to think about it, I guess.


7. Shirtless and I played golf last week at a cheap 9-hole course that's not far from where I live. Fun! / Unfortunately, it seems that this course is cursed, as we played HORRIBLY!


8. Recently, my office loosened the dress code (such as it previously had been) and allowed us to wear jeans to work on Fridays. / Unfortunately, the semi-weekly angst over stretching the loosened dress code causes a flurry of emails, heartburn, and general, childish chaos.

Happy Birthday!

Dear Grace:


You are five-years-old today. Congratulations! I am so proud of who you are becoming, a fine young girl filled with energy, desire, and a steadfast knowledge of what you want.

While these qualities can sometimes be difficult, especially when you don't know how to channel your boundless energy and enthusiasm in the ways you want, I know that as you get older and as you hold onto these qualities, you will blossom further into an amazing and spectacular person.

You know, as do I, that we have had our share of squabbles. I've shouted at you more times than I am proud to remember. You have fought against my expectations and requests many times. You will continue to do these things throughout your life, because, well, it is going to become more and more your life as time goes on. We won't see eye-to-eye, but I hope and pray and believe that we will come out of things firmly in support of each other. We are bound together with a common life and a shared history. I hope I never forget the things that you do, large and small, because you do things in the largest way that you can.

That is one thing that is so spectacular about you, Grace. You live your life exuberantly, as every five-year-old should. I hope you never loose that joyous drive to shout, to grab things and make them your own. That sort of desire, belief in yourself, and confidence can create amazing things for you and for those who are lucky enough to be around you.

You have an amazingly expressive face; a face that has never taken a bad picture. Your thoughts and your feelings are right there for everyone to see. You can make me laugh with that face like no one else. When you make a joke, not only your face, but your head, shoulders, arms, and entire body is taken up in the telling. Please don't allow that expressiveness to be taken away by caution and hesitancy.

I am so proud to be your daddy and I hope that you can understand that. I try my best to tell you how much I love you--in the words I say, the hugs I give, and in the things that I teach you. I will always be there for you, from this birthday and for many more to come.

Is Suri a Wiggles Fan?

Dear Tom:

Why did you do it this time?

The guy was named Kermit Love! He shared a name with a famous puppet frog (coincidence though it was) and his last name was beautiful.

He never did anything to you (that we know of . . .) and all he ever did (that we know of) was create wonderful stuff for kids.

Not only did he create Big Bird's costume, but he even played Willy the Hot Dog salesman on The Street.

sigh