If an alien ship came down and opened the door, and if your wife and kids weren't watching, would you get in?

Absolutely.

(Really, nothing more needs to be said . . . but I guess I will.)

Do you think me callous? Willing to abandon my family for the cold, unknown void of space?

But in this case, I would be serving as the ambassador of the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. (And who better than me, right?)

Isn't it more important for me to serve as a willing ambassador than to continue overseeing my family? And isn't the woman's liberation movement all about trusting my wife to take over the reign of my family in the event of my departure by alien abduction? (I'm pretty sure that Susan B. Anthony mentioned that in some 1920 speech.)

Would any of YOU pass up the opportunity to see things in space that you simply can't even imagine?

Sound off in comments, please and tell me that I'm crazy or that you are entirely on my side.

That's my answer.

Thanks for asking!

Ask me anything

to travel into the PAST or into the FUTURE?

I have studied and received college degrees in both anthropology and history, so I'm supposed to say the Past, right?

Well, partly, yes.

There are things in the Past that would be undeniably cool to see--the first Model T driving down the road, the Wright Brothers flight, the creation of the lead pencil, the painting of the Sistine Chapel, the first episode of "Moonlighting!"

But, I've always been captivated by the FUTURE. (As I think I've noted in some digital space before, I'm the kid that spend summer afternoons with nothing but a wooden picnic table, a folding camp chair, and my imagination as I piloted the Millenium Falcon through asteroid fields and past Darth Vader's laser cannon bursts.)

So . . . I think I would pick traveling into the FUTURE!

In that way I could:

a.) find out how LOST ends before anyone else! (My current theory is that the last six years of the "Island" is simply a dream being had by one of the DHARMA polar bears held in captivity at the Hydra Station.

b.) learn what the marginal tax rate increase will be in fiscal year 2012!

c.) Get an iPad . . . WITH FLASH capabilities! (Oh . . . wait, we're talking about the FUTURE here, not alternate realities.)

d.) fuel my DeLorean time machine with banana peels and the last swallows of a Diet Pepsi + the aluminum in the can.

e.) and all sorts of other fun things.

BUT . . . there is a problem with traveling to the FUTURE.

The Past is (mostly) a known quantity. It would be exciting to be a fly on the wall as Julius Caesar is brutally knifed to death in the Roman Senate. It would be great to watch Thomas Edison create the light bulb. But there are all things that are not mysteries. I would just get to see them with my own eyes.

The FUTURE is unknown. And perhaps by traveling into the FUTURE, I would find that it is one of those Blade Runner-esque dystopic futures that are nothing but a big fat bummer. I would want to FUTURE to be something sleek and cool, kind of like the GM World of Tomorrow at the World's Fair or Disney World's TomorrowLand, full of monorails, chicks in unitards, food pills. You know, a really far out gas.

But if the FUTURE turned out to be something like "12 Monkeys" where everyone lives underground because evil David Morse destroyed the world with the Ebola virus . . . well, that would not be much fun at all.

So, the Past is the safer bet.

But I'm gonna roll the dice and hold out for a better FUTURE.

Anyway, that's my answer.

Thanks for asking.

Ask me anything

Visual Inspiration

By now you know that we didn't have a new episode of LOST this evening--either because you tuned in and saw that there wasn't a new episode airing at the expected time or because you were logged in to Twitter or Facebook and weren't bombarded with random comments from me with the hashtag #4815162342.

But, I have spent some time tonight flipping through the so, so fabulous LOST inspired posters of artist Gideon Slife. He set about to make a poster for each and every LOST episode. So far he has completed 78.

To say that I would like to purchase each and every one of these is an understatement.

To say that I hope he convinces a publisher to produce a coffee table book of them misses the fact that I want them all now, hanging on my wall in individual frames.

To say that the very fact of the images has inspired me to rewatch each and every LOST episode from the very beginning and write individual reactions to them all over again . . . simply so each post on my blog can be tied to these images . . . well, let's just say that the posters have got me thinking about all the things I could do to celebrate LOST and celebrate this art.

Random Stories

You can be forgiven if you think this post title is a reference to WWYG?! generally, but that is not the case.

In fact, random stories is what Sarah and Grace request of me while we drive here and there during errands to pass the time. In form, these are impromptu tales (often--by specific request--with no teaching moral) that I am expected to construct on the fly with no preparation.

In recent weeks I have told short stories about:

1.) a brick that once lived in a wall, was knocked out of said wall, carried across town in a dog's mouth, then eventually ended up in a decorative path in front of a house.

2.) a dog named Woofy who was descended from Blackbeard's Pirate Dog, tasked with guarding the treasure chest in a Florida cave.

3.) Joe the college student who spiced up his humdrum job of advertising a barber shop with a roadside sign by dressing up in a different costume every day. He got catcalls and car honks, but his growing notariety led to a local news story and a college scholarship in the theatre department.

4.) the strange tale of a sentient bologna sandwich that led a revolt of foods against their human oppressors.

Ultimately, you had to be there, I'm sure. But I like the challenge.

-- Posted From My iPhone (so, I apologize in advance for any typos I missed)

Hannah

She's very "demanding" these days. When she isn't happy with what you have decided to do (a not infrequent occurrance, let me assure you), she immediately responds with a boisterous NO! and a quick whine.

Some days it seems that I get 7 or 8 of those reactions each morning.

But, she loves to go on walks--more than I can say for the older two. Sure, they may be meandering walks that don't get you very far. But you'll learn the location of every barking dog and are guaranteed to stop to get a better look at any ant that crosses the sidewalk. (And she'll even step on them. Where does that dominance over ants thing cms from?) But she also tries to converse with the ants. Usually by saying HEY ANT!


-- Posted From My iPhone (so, I apologize in advance for any typos I missed)