The Stairs Incident

What I'm about to tell you happened approximately two months ago.

In years past, I would have sat down and blogged about it mere hours after it occurred.

Now . . . it has taken me this long and I had to convince myself to do it at all.

*****
It was a Friday night. We had ordered our customary pizza dinner and were preparing to eat it. Sarah had her neighbor friend over to spend the night. Our neighbor was downstairs just getting started on the basement renovation project that we had hired him to do for us. Lynda was arriving home from work.

I got the pizza on the table, with the plates, drinks, and napkins. Sarah and S. sat down and started eating. I also sat down and had a slice myself, talking to the girls. Grace was about to also sit down and eat but she was playing with our neighbor's daughter, who was hanging out while her dad worked downstairs.

In short . . . there was a lot going on.

Lynda came home and saw that C. was working in the basement. She decided to go down and talk to him about how things were going, what the renovations plans were, discussing a scheduled visit by insulators that he had recommended. She left the door to the basement stairs open.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, in full view of the basement entrance, eating pizza and joking with Sarah and her friend.

And where was Hannah?

. . .

She had been playing on the ice cream truck. That blasted, plastic ice cream truck that the kids have sat on since Sarah was little and pushed themselves around the house with their feet. And with just about every push, they run up against the plastic handle that serves at the "throttle" of the truck, which never fails (though I don't think we've EVER changed the battery in this thing) to unleash its loud, piercing VROOM noise. And don't forget all of the buttons that launch out random songs or weird sayings.

In short, I have a strong aversion to this ice cream truck.

And Hannah was enjoying it to the hilt.

But it's not the ice cream truck's fault, really. (And I think it ended up being helpful in the end, as you may see.)

Hannah rode the truck around, looking for Mommy. And, somehow, over the din of the electronic truck insanity, she discerned that Mom was downstairs in the basement. So, as any good, imprinted daughter will do, she pushed her ice creamy way over to the entrance to the basement, parking herself at the top of the stairs. She called down to Lynda and Lynda didn't hear her, intent as she was with her conversation with C. about the construction and plans and insulation estimates and whatever else. Hannah called again and Lynda may have called back up that "she'd be up in a minute," but that may be completed conjecture on my part, as I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. I was goofing around with Sarah and her friend at the table (only three feet away from the open basement door, mind you.)

Then something made me get up and head to the front door, moving me further away from the developing action. All I know is that as I was standing in the hall, I heard the unmistakable sound of plastic truck wheels bouncing down a stair. Then I heard a crashing impact . . . and then the wailing began.

I turned around and got down the basement steps as fast as I could, and Lynda was already there at the stairs feet, seeing Hannah on the ground, screaming in fear and pain. We both picked her up and started to assess whatever damage we could see.

*****

She was spitting blood out of her mouth, but I couldn't see a cut anywhere. Her teeth were all there, so we figured it must be coming from her busted top lip. (It wasn't, exactly, as we'd learn later.). I ran back upstairs to get a wet towel to start cleaning her up and we started strategizing with each other about what to do. We knew we'd need someone to watch the kids at the house while we headed to the Urgent Care or the ER or wherever we were going to go. Luckily, C. was there and we called M. and asked her to come over as well. They readily agreed and we threw on shoes and coats and headed out the door.

Hannah was still crying, but the blood flow was slowing down. We couldn't tell where it has been coming from in her mouth, but I was more concerned with keeping Hannah talking to ensure that she wasn't going into shock or slipping into unconsciousness or something that might mean a bigger problem. Lynda and I determined that we didn't need to go to the ER or the hospital and chose the Urgent Care instead. We figured we'd get seen faster that way, as long as Hannah's condition remained less visibly critical.

But, visible was an issue. We had a wet wash cloth to clean the blood off of her face, but she already had some blood on her shirt. I was worried that people would take one look at us and figure we'd been beating Hannah or something. And I was worried that if we kept telling the nurses and doctor that she'd fallen down the stairs, they might also jump to the wrong conclusions. But we had to tell the truth to ensure proper care. In the end, nothing but the right things happened and I watch too much serialized TV drama.

*****

By the time we got to the Urgent Care, which was only a five minute drive from our house, Hannah was entirely calm again. She looked banged up, with a cut lip and a bloody shirt. But she wasn't crying any more. In fact, once we got in the waiting room with the other sick children, she wanted to wander off and play with the other kids, just like nothing at all had happened fifteen minutes ago.

This introduced another worry, to accompany the one I had about people misinterpreting why we were there. Now I was worried that Hannah might get blood on someone else and what might happen if that occurred? Looking back on it, I don't really know where this blood was going to come from, as there wasn't any more blood flow occurring at this point, and the stuff on her shirt was dry. But these were the things I was thinking.

Eventually we got back and Hannah's vitals were taken and she seemed very fine. And when the doctor gave her a look, she told us that the blood had been the result of a tear of that bit of skin that holds your top lip to your gums.*

*****

And then, it was over. And we were home. And Hannah was better. And now it seems like it never happened.

But she still rides that infernal ice cream truck. And she sometimes remembers riding it down the stairs. But I believe that the truck actually saved her accident from being much worse. In my mind's eye, I see that she successfully rode the truck in proper position for the top third of the staircase. Perhaps she even thought she could pull it off in that brief split second? But then something bumped and she started to flip, with the front of the truck (and her) going down and the back end of the truck flipping up into the air, creating  a somersault. So . . . perhaps in the second third of the stairs she was actually airborne and not in contact with the stairs or the truck at all? And as she flipped, maybe the truck shielded her from the stairs in that bottom third as she crashed to rest on the carpet below? Who knows, really . . . but that is the way I need to imagine it.

Maybe I need to tolerate that stupid truck a little bit longer . . .

* (Apparently, this type of lip connection is generally called a "frenulum." If you want to know more search the word, but be careful with what search data comes up. Remember that we're dealing with an anatomical category of "lips" which don't ONLY exist on the face. Say no more, say no more.)

My Absolutely Uninformed Oscar Predictions

If I've managed to see three films that are nominated for an Academy Award this year, I'd be surprised.

But my complete lack of exposure won't stop me from telling you who I think is going to win.

Writing (Original Screenplay)
Another Year
Inception
The Fighter
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winters Bone

Visual Effects
Alice in Wonderland
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I
Hereafter
Inception
Iron Man 2

Sound Mixing
Inception
The King's Speech
Salt
The Social Network
True Grit

Sound Editing
Inception
Toy Story 3
Tron: Legacy
True Grit
Unstoppable

Short Film (Live Action)
The Confession
The Crush
God of Love
Na Wewe
Wish 143


Short Film (Animated)
Day & Night
The Gruffalo
Let's Pollute
The Lost Thing
Magadascar, a Journey Diary

Music (Original Song)
Country Strong "Coming Home"
Tangled "I See the Light"
127 Hours "If I Rise"
Toy Story 3 "We Belong Together"

Music (Original Score)
How to Train Your Dragon
Inception
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network

Makeup
Barney's Version
The Way Back
The Wolfman

Foreign Language Film
Biutiful
Dogtooth
In a Better World
Incendies
Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi)

Film Editing
Black Swan
The Fighter
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network

Documentary Short Subject
Killing in the Name
Poster Girl
Strangers No More
Sun Come Up
The Warriors of Quigang

Documentary Feature
Exit Through the Gift Shop
Gasland
Inside Job
Restrepo
Waste Land

Directing
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David O. Russell, The Fighter
Tom Hooper, The King's Speech
David Fincher, The Social Network
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, True Grit

Costume Design
Alice in Wonderland
I Am Love
The King's Speech
The Tempest
True Grit

Cinematography
Black Swan
Inception
The King's Speech
The Social Network
True Grit

Art Direction
Alice in Wonderland
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I
Inception
The King's Speech
True Grit

Animated Feature Film
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Toy Story 3

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Actor in a Supprting Role
Christian Bale, The Fighter
John Hawkes, Winter's Bone
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right
Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech

Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem, Biutiful
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours

Best Picture
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
127 Hours
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

I want to ruin your company's reputation

So, as is usually the case when parents come to visit, something went wrong with the HVAC unit in our house. We suspect that one of the additional electric coils that kicks in when the Emergency Heat is activated on our Heat Pump system burned out. Currently, the unit is running, but it's not maintaining the top temperature we are aiming for. It's not bone-chilling or anything, but it's not entirely working at top efficiency.

So, this happened on Tuesday night. The next day we confirmed that something was not working properly and called our home warranty company to put in a claim. The system called us back and gave us the name of Allison Heating and Cooling to come out and fix the problem.

And nothing happened on Wednesday.

Lynda called back yesterday (Thursday) and finally got someone to respond to us. They scheduled an evaluation and repair visit for today (Friday).

Lynda just got off the phone with me saying that the jackholes at Allison Heating and Cooling apparently can't maintain their scheduling system intelligently enough to know that they had some sort of installation conflict and can't make it to our house. Or perhaps they don't have enough staff to be an effective service provider. Whatever their source of incompetence, they wondered if we could perhaps reschedule for Monday? (Which, in case you aren't doing the math, is five full days after the problem was indicated and the lack of enough heat began.)

Lynda probably politely told them to screw off and now we have to go back through the home warranty system to get another company to come out. And considering it is already midday on Friday, the chances of us getting someone before the weekend begins is slimming. But I'll be damned if I'm going to give any money to Allison Heating and Cooling. They are incompetent and I would like anyone who reads this to retweet and Facebook it and talk badly about this company whenever you have the opportunity.

Allison Heating and Cooling sucks. (And I'm not the only one who thinks so.) They don't know how to operate a business and they don't care about treating customers (no matter where those customers come to them from) properly.

Don't use them.

Friday night

For the first time in weeks, the weekend comes and I don't feel completely overwhelmed with the needs and demands of the 9 to 5 workload. That is not to say that I don't have work with me this weekend, but it isn't a depressing amount. Not at all as bad as last weekend.

Now, I usually take Friday nights off anyway, so I expect tonight to involve relaxing and watching Fringe, plus other shows from the past week. (Too bad I don't have any beer to relax with.)

So far we've had our dinner and are waiting out the time before Hannah goes to bed. Then the older girls will watch a movie of their own. And I'll just have to keep waiting to do any relaxing of my own.

Lynda isn't feeling great, so she'll fall asleep as soon as she can. So it looks like a solitary, quiet night ahead for me.

-- Posted From My iPhone (so, I apologize in advance for any typos I missed)

Alphabetical

• My youngest daughter has only three letters in her first name: H - A -  and N. When combined together (excitingly . . . in EITHER direction!) that gives you Hannah.
• Both I and my oldest daughter only have four letters in our first names. For me, they are D - A - V - and I. I get to repeat the initial consonent. For her, they are S - A - R - and H. And she repeats the only vowel.
• For my wife and my middle daughter, they both have five unique letters that do not repeat  in their first names. L - Y - N - D - and A, then G - R - A - C - and E.
• All of us share the letter A in our names.
• The only other letters shared between individuals are:
• H's in both Hannah's and Sarah's names. (Both of which are shared as terminal letters in the name.)
• R's in both Grace's and Sarah's names. But no other commonalities between those names.

What does all this mean?

I have no idea . . . but I'd love to hear your theories on the matter.