Fall TV Preview--SATURDAY

• read Part I--Sunday
• read Part II--Monday
• read Part III--Tuesday
• read Part IV--Cable
• read Part V--Wednesday
• read Part VI--Thursday
• read Part VII--Friday 

And now we come to the end of our blogging TV preview journey.And sadly, that journey ends with

credit: thebiggestnews.com

As Dean already pointed out in his cable review, Saturday is a terrible day for television--unless you like college football. But college football doesn't last all year, so what are you going to do the rest of the year on this day? Here are some tips from me to you:

1. Read more books--Back before television, people enjoyed reading to escape into imaginary worlds. If you don't know where to find books for free, find a local library near you.
2. Get outside more--Similarly, you could enjoy the outdoors. Perhaps this Web site might give you help in finding parks that are available? (But my apologies if this information is out-of-date. Since parks are publicly funded, you never know when they might fall into disrepair and be unusable.) But if you can ride a bike to the potential park location, you'll get some outdoor exercise even if the final destination is not to your liking.

(And, yes, I'm aware that I need to follow my own advice more on this front.)

If you don't like these options, why not become a blogger? We can be digital friends and blog about the exciting lives we lead? You can filter your daily experiences through your mind, wondering if it might be something interesting to write about. And then you won't remember to write down those thoughts and you'll forget to set aside some time to write and then your new blog won't get used as much and . . . well, we can complain about it together.

So, find something interesting to do on a Saturday. It's not always about TV.

Fall TV Preview--FRIDAY

• read Part I--Sunday
• read Part II--Monday
• read Part III--Tuesday
• read Part IV--Cable
• read Part V--Wednesday
• read Part VI--Thursday

Credit: vimeo.com

Apparently, ABC has a show on Friday night entitled Primetime: What Would You Do? Now, this could be ABC's plea for help to the viewing public about how to properly program one of the worst TV nights of the week. Or it could be some terrible reality show that doesn't cost lots and is therefore perfect for killing time on Friday night. Or it could be something entirely different. Entertainment Weekly didn't bother to write up a 20 word review of it in the print magazine, so I had to hold my breath and visit the network Web site in the hopes of finding out some information. (This, dear reader, is the level of effort I am willing to put in on your behalf . . . spending more than 30 seconds trying to understand a--most likely--terrible show that no one will watch on the night when hardly anyone bothers to watch TV.

So, here I go.

. . . searching . . .

All right . . . so it's a bit worse than I feared? According to the site, WWYD? (I'm disturbed at how similar its initials are to my blog. There, but for a letter and an interrobang, go I.) is a show that presents "thought" experiments. (And I put that word in quotation marks advisedly.) It sounds like a less fun game than my lunch mates and I sometimes play at lunch. I'll never watch it.

Andbutso . . . this intro bit turned into more than I wanted it to. FRIDAY! What shows are there worth watching on Friday? Is anyone going to watch shows on Friday?

Well, I will--for at least two reasons. The first reason, which has mainly been my reason for most Friday night viewing over the years is because I don't have a social life to worry about. I didn't then and I don't now. Sometimes Lynda and I will go out on a date, but Friday night most of the time is pizza, popcorn, kids movies--if they can agree upon one-- and then falling asleep on the couch. Whoo!

But over the years, I've loved some Friday shows. I believe Firefly was once on Friday nights. And there was, of course, The X Files. And now two of my favorites are also moved to this night to die--Community and Fringe.

If you pay attention to the media at all, you know of the travails of Community (10/19 @ 8:30 on NBC). The show has been on public life support since its first season. But NBC had no better option, I guess, than keep it around. Dan Harmon is a Brian Wilson-style tortured genius of a asshole that is hard to work with and finally Sony told him to shove off at the end of last year. The cast is still around (even Chevy Chase), but the question mark of what becomes of the show and its scatter shot tone? Will it be the Community that very few knew and loved? Everyone assures us that it won't be very different. But I guess the proof is in the chicken fingers, right? I'll be watching . . . and hoping it is good enough to satisfy. I very much doubt it'll make it beyond this 13 episode order.

And then there is Fringe (9/28 @ 9 on Fox). Thought it seems to be the only word I commonly say that is affected by my southern accent--such as it is. This is another show like Community that you are either for or against. It started, like The X Files, with a premise of trying to understand why weird stuff happened. And there was government investigation. And occasionally there was a whiff of conspiracy. But the show's center has been the relationship between John Noble's mad scientist Walter Bishop and his ripped-from-an-alternate-universe son Peter, played by Joshua Jackson. Walter is so smart, he can and often does do anything. And that anything might save the world or put the world in peril, depending on the week. But the parallel world that Walter has exploited in the past is always there for the writers to utilize for story. Sometimes it is an enemy and sometimes it is the solution to a problem. This final season's story arc leaves the modern day parallel worlds behind and leaps into a future existence that our heroes must navigate. I've enjoyed the show a lot and will keep watching all the way to the end. So, I recommend that you set your DVR to record this last year. And while recording, catch up on past seasons via Netflix or something. Its a fun ride.

And that is really all I want to say about Friday night programming. There are other shows on during this night--CSI: NY, Made in Jersey, Malibu Country, Blue Bloods, Whitney (ugh), Grimm, Touch, America's Next Top Model, or Nikita to name almost all of them.But I've never seen them and don't have an interest in them. Still, I've got to award the New Show Most Likely to Succeed on Friday Night haiku to something, don't I? And of those shows listed above, only Made in Jersey (9/28 @ 9 on CBS) and Malibu Country (11/2 @ 8:30 on ABC) are new. The former is, I guess something like Erin Brockovich + The Fighter. The latter is Reba, but in California rather than wherever Reba was set.

And so, I choose . . .

Malibu Country

This show must be what

Hannah Montana would be

if sent through wormhole.

Fall TV Preview--THURSDAY

• read part I--Sunday
• read part II--Monday
• read part III--Tuesday
• read part IV--Cable
• read part V--Wednesday

Credit: sunsetintherearview.com

 As the TV week creeps towards the end and the ratings decline, what is there to expect on Thursday nights? Is it a night of drama, comedy, or reality? New challengers or old favorites? Which network has the best chance at success on the last night of the TV week that really means anything?

NBC has the least  change in its lineup this night, but that doesn't mean it is settled. Given how unsuccessful NBC has been in ratings over the last several years, its frankly amazing that some of these shows are still around. But--as Nixon once said--you won't have them to kick around much longer. 30 Rock (10/4 @ 8 pm) ends its many years of quality and success with one more dip into the crazy that is TGS. Will we learn that it's all been a dream of Liz and Jack while they drift off to bed after intercourse? (That most surprising sentence ever written on WWYG?! would be pretty remarkable if it turned out to be true . . . which it won't be.) Up All Night (9/20 @8:30) gets another shot for its second season, but many things about the show are different.The talk show is no more and so the tone of the show also changes. But don't think Maya Rudolph's Oprah clone is gone. She's likely to be weirder than ever though. And Parks and Recreation (9/20 @ 9:30 & 9/20 @ 9) are also back. But, I don't watch these shows so I won't say much about them here. I know people love Parks & Rec . . . but I've never given it a fair chance. I don't really have a good reason. Maybe it's because I've never really cared about Saturday Night Live? If you are outraged, put all your venom in comments.

What am I looking forward to on this night of TV? I'll renew my acquaintance with The Big Bang Theory (9/27 @ 8 on CBS) and keep scrolling on my phone while sort of keeping an eye on Glee (9/13 @ 9 on Fox). But I am most interested in two other shows that are familiar . . . but not.

First there is Beauty and the Beast (10/11 @ 9 on The CW) which attempts to revive a strangely popular show from my youthful 80s childhood. But it won't have Ron Pearlman or Linda Hamilton. It'll have some dude named Jay Ryan and . . .  gulp . . . my old Smallville nemesis Kristin Kreuk in the title roles. I can say with certainty that I won't be watching this show at all. But I'll keep an ear open to hear what others are saying about it.If this show was airing on ABC, I'd insert some joke here about how this show's revival was done only to achieve synergy with network's owner. But that isn't the case.So, I can only fall back on the notion that America's creativity is well and truly bankrupt.

The other show, however, is probably one I will watch--at least to try out. Elementary (9/27 @ 10 on CBS) is not a gritty drama about the rough underbelly of preschool in New York City. (Why hasn't someone tried that concept yet?) Rather, it is a new version of Sherlock Holmes.(Sadly . . . no, not THAT Sherlock.) But like that--infinitely better--version, it is a modernized spin on the World's Greatest Detective. (No, not that world's greatest detective.) Jonny Lee Miller (a Brit, don't worry) plays the guy in the deer-hunter cap and Lucy Liu plays Watson.

What . . . huh?

Yep. As anyone who pays any attention to TV knows, the big twist in Elementary is that Watson is a girl! And everyone swears that there won't be any love interest brewing between Miller's Sherlock and Liu's Watson. And that's fine, as the BBC version of the show is already famous for its homoerotic watercolors on Tumblr. But my love of the BBC show has made me ready to embrace this version of the show, so I'll watch it. And I hope it does well enough.

And because it is the new show I am most interested in seeing--and I'm not going into all the Thursday night shows--I'm awarding the New Show Most Likely to Succeed on Thursday Night to Elementary.

Elementary

Yes, my dear Watson.

This show isn't the B___ in

221B Baker . . .

 

Fall TV Preview--WEDNESDAY

• read part I--Sunday
• read part II--Monday
• read part III--Tuesday
• read part IV--Cable

credit: orkubits.com

 The middle day of the television week is a study in two philosophies. CBS, Fox, and The CW are focused on dramas and hour-long programming while  NBC and ABC are placing an emphasis on comedies with some drama in the later hours. ABC is bringing back a lot of its comedies from last season while NBC has lots of new offerings. The CW tries to recapture some Smallville magic and CBS isn't breaking what (apparently?) doesn't need fixing.

I'll start by coldly and decisively dismissing Animal Practice (9/26 @ 8 on NBC) as the show I'll love to hate and will never, ever watch, even if you put a gun to my head. Even though it has Tyler Labine (who I enjoyed on Reaper), the show prominently features animals--and NOT just because it's set in an animal hospital. I can't stand animal actors--ever since . . . well, ever. And this shows has the potential to be aggressively bad. It's like if they took the worst concepts of J.D. fantasy imaginings on Scrubs and tried to make a whole show around it.

Awful . . . okay?

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Guys with Kids (9/12 @ 8:30 on NBC) was produced by Judd Apatow's company and originated as a discarded storyline for one of his recent movies. It just has that sort of feel to it. But I'm not enough of an Apatow fan to watch.

I'll hit CBS's entire Wednesday lineup--Survivor: Philippines (9/19 @ 8), Criminal Minds (9/26 @ 9), and CSI (9/26 @ 10) in four words: Been. There. Done. That.

Fox's Wednesday offering is focused solely and completely on The X Factor (9/12 @ 8 . . . until 10). I guess Simon Cowell is hoping that the addition of Britney Spears and Demi Lovato will keep this show interesting. And considering how reliable those two singers/stars have been . . . well, um . . . I guess Americans just won't stop loving reality singing competitions, will they?

The new ideas at ABC are The Neighbors (9/26 @ 9:30, shifting to 8:30 thereafter). Aliens living incognito in Suburbia. Is this a rejected Men in Black IV script? I'll pass. But you may want to flip back to ABC for Nashville (10/10 @ 10), which stars Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere as waning and waxing country music stars relying up and competing with each other. It is likely to be a.) well acted, b.) provide popular musical drama (a la Glee but aimed at Mom & Dad), and c.) be successful.I recommend it, even if I probably won't watch it.

The CW, however, knows what may interest me--because it took note of the fact that I was one of only twelve people in the continental United States that actually watched every episode of the ten seasons of Smallville. And so, The CW is very much hoping that I am stupid enough to hitch my wagon to Arrow (10/10 @ 8) even though the titular character (superhero Green Arrow aka Oliver Queen) isn't being played by Smallville's Justin Hartley. And, yeah, I'll probably join in and watch. Maybe it won't be any good. But if I don't give it a try, no one will know if it is good at all.

So . . . here is my dilemma tonight. Do I award the New Show Most Likely to Succeed on Wednesday Night to Arrow or to Nashville? One is more in my television wheelhouse of crap and the other is much more likely to be worth of success. Do I go with my gut or my brains?

Nashvarrow

Drama aplenty,

whether in song or in tights.

Too close to call . . . y'all. 

Fall TV Preview--Dean's Cable Review

• read Part I--Sunday
• read Part II--Monday
• read Part III--Tuesday

 [My buddy and coworker Dean submitted his opinions on Cable TV, so here is his take on the non-network (mostly far superior) offering of shows. Take it away, Dean!]

Credit: colourbox.com

OK, so some of these shows are already airing. Very few of these shows are actually new. Cable is a
weird beast, but I was given this opportunity and as a TV aficionado, I must give you the opportunity to
watch as much good TV as possible.

Sunday!

Sunday is premium cable’s night to shine. This fall HBO is bringing back Boardwalk Empire and Treme.

• Boardwalk Empire (HBO): This is a fine show, but somewhat of a slow burn. It’s easy to get frustrated at the pacing, so maybe save a couple of episodes and burn them off all at once.
• Treme (HBO): This is also a slow burn, but a brilliant one. Watch it and get lost in the music and people of post-Katrina New Orleans. Also: David Simon is one of the two TV creators who I would watch whatever they produce (the other is David Milch, who I sincerely hope comes back to TV after the unfortunate events that caused Luck to be canceled).
• Dexter (Showtime): Stop watching Dexter people! It was a good show for two seasons and now is a shuffling zombie of mediocrity. My wife still likes it though.
• The Thick of It (Hulu): I really like Armando Iannucci. It’s gotten a lot of awards from the Brits for comedy. If you watched Veep and liked it, you’ll probably find this just as good.
• Hell On Wheels (AMC): Confederate soldier builds railroads in the west while hunting for the Northerners who killed his wife. I’ve heard good things about it, but I’d rather just rewatch Deadwood. 
• The Walking Dead (AMC): It’s about Zombies. Do you like things about Zombies? What about shows with horrible pacing problems? This show might be for you.
• Copper (BBC America): A cop show set in turn of the century New York brought to you by BBC America. This show has some problems, but is reasonably enjoyable. Watch it while waiting for the better shows to come back.
• Homeland (Showtime): I don’t have Showtime but if I did, I would watch this. Everything I’ve read says it’s great. Plus: Mandy Patinkin is on it and that would give me the opportunity to quote The Princess Bride at length.
• Leverage (TNT): A caper show about a group of criminals doing good deeds against bad guys. It’s ridiculous and cheesy and great.

Monday!

• Adventure Time (Cartoon Network): A human boy and his shapeshifting dog go on adventures in what appears to be Earth after some sort of apocalypse. I have been unsuccessful in my exhortations in getting people to watch this show, but really--it is your loss. I refuse to waste any more breath on this (but seriously: I know good TV and I know what to recommend to who. You should listen to me.) [Hey Dean, shhh . . . don't tell my wife, but I'm slowly cracking and might start watching this when she's not around.] 
• Regular Show (Cartoon Network): A raccoon and a blue jay work in a park. Weird stuff happens. Mark Hamil is an immortal Yeti named Skips. You want to skip this show? As you wish.
• RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo): I would be remiss if I did not mention everyone’s favorite show about Drag Queens competing to be the best. I don’t actually watch it, but I know everything about it thanks to Brie.
• The Inbetweeners (MTV): I haven’t seen the BBC version and I won’t be watching this version. Watch the original, MTV is a mess.
• Alphas (Syfy): My research on this show involved going through the grades on the AV Club. They were mostly Bs. So: A B quality science fiction show about “A group of people with special powers complete missions for the government.” My friend Sam [and me!] insists its good, so it’s got that going for it.

Tuesday!

• 30 For 30 (ESPN): ESPN presents a series of films by accomplished directors on a variety of sports topics. There are now well over 30 films, but they keep using that number. I do not think it means what they think it means.
• Sons of Anarchy (FX): Kurt Sutter was one of the main writers on The Shield (which has the best series finale out of any show I’ve ever seen. I implore you to watch it) and for that I will always love him. But…this show, you guys. It’s good, but it’s frustrating. So . . . so . . . frustrating. The Shield would put itself in a corner and then blow up the corner and everyone in it. Sons will write itself into a corner and then shrug and pretend the corner never existed. So watch it, the first two seasons are as good as anything on TV right now. It’s better than Dexter.

Wednesday!

• American Horror Story (FX): This is a whole new story from last year. Now it takes place in an Asylum. I hope there is a Sicilian in the Asylum. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. [Should I count that as the first or the second Princess Bride joke of this post?] 
• The Hour (BBC America): I tried to get into this because McNulty from The Wire is on it. It didn’t grab my attention but it might hold yours.
• South Park (Comedy Central): If I have to explain the plot of this show to you, you’ve been living under a rock for quite some time. If you’ve been living under a rock might I advise catching up on other aspects of the world instead of watching TV? Maybe write a book about your time living under said rock? I would read it.

Thursday!

If Sunday is the day for premium dramas, Thursday is the day for cable comedy. Louie and Wilfred (FX)
are finishing up their seasons soon. Children's Hospital and NTSF:SD:SUV:: (Cartoon Network) are both
good spoofs of network genres.

• It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX): This show is getting older, but the gang still knows how to keep things fresh. Not for the easily offended.
• The League (FX): Do you like fantasy football? No? This show is hilarious regardless. Watch it. Shivakamini Somakandarkram! (You would get that if you watched the show.)
• Project Runway (Lifetime) is also on. It is not a comedy, at least not intentionally. This show is also getting old. It has not aged gracefully. Every night Lifetime comes into Project Runway's room and tells it “Good night, I will probably kill you in the morning.” Every morning it spares it. This is not a mercy. [All right. I'm going to count that as joke #3.]

Friday!

David will say this for the Network review, but watch Community (NBC). Even though its creator and the
driving force behind the show is no longer affiliated with it, the cast is so talented that I have faith in the
future direction of the show. Besides. NBC gets such low ratings it could easily be confused as a cable
channel anyways.

• Gravity Falls (Disney): A cartoon Twilight Zone/Eerie Indiana-ish style show that uses monsters as a metaphor for growing up. It’s really good. If you have kids they might like it. You might like it too, it’s really good.
• Hunted (Cinemax): Cinemax is trying to get into the HBO, Showtime, axis of good premium cable shows, but doing it on Friday instead of Sunday. It could work. I don’t know what this show is. Watch it or not. Whatever.
• Strike Back (Cinemax): Sex and Violence and a good story. Inconceivable!? It’s Cinemax, what did you think you were going to get? [You tried to sneak joke #4 past me, but I saw what you did there.] 
• Boss (Starz): Kelsey Grammer runs the city of Chicago. How you feel about that determines if you should watch this show.

Saturday!

• College Football (ESPN, BTN, others): Do you like college football? If you do you probably didn’t need to be reminded of this. If you don’t, then this blurb holds no interest to you. Why am I typing this then? Because I know something you don’t know: I’m not left-handed. (switches typing hands). [I actually saw that one coming as I read the sentence.] 
• Doctor Who (BBC America): Note this is not Dr. Who, it is Doctor Who. Never abbreviate Doctor Who or the Weeping Angels will come for you. If you have any interest in Science Fiction TV shows you need to watch Doctor Who. Don’t start on this season though. Start with the 9th Doctor. [I am a new convert to this show . . . finally. I'm starting the second season of the 10th Doctor and I agree with Dean wholeheartedly on this one. If you like science fiction at all and can't find something to like about this show, you're probably mostly dead. That's #1 for me.]

Saturday is a wasteland otherwise. Go outside and hang out with your family.

[Excellent and nicely comprehensive work Dean. You can come back and guest blog for me anytime.]